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My mom has been obsessing over her nails. She files them every day, several times, and buffs them for 20 minutes at a time. It is driving me crazy!!! When it's not her nails, she seems to find something else to obsess over. Her hair is thinning, and she's obsessing over that as well. We tried Rogaine and several different shampoos. The doctor said that it's not due to medication, checked her thyroid again, and thinks it just aging.

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I guess clinically it's not OCD. My father has limited brain processing capacity, but a need to use it. So he is constantly obsessing over something. It lasts a few days and then it's replaced by something else. There's always an emergency, always a problem, always something he's upset about. This won't kill him, but it might kill me.
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My instinct about OCD is that it stems from anxiety about not being able to control the larger picture in one's life. There's fear involved. So people obsess about things they CAN control. I think calming her down is the right approach, and doing your nails with her to give her validation and love is a great idea. Maybe she is trying to look her best. Maybe this is an expression that she needs more TLC. How about treating her to a facial and makeup and a new outfit? and have a special day out? ....
By the way, my mom has been OCD her whole life, and she was brilliant. So I don't think it's about dementia.
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Let's distinguish between OCD behaviors and the disease OCD. I think behavior that look like OCD can be the result of loss of memory, and the fear that comes from the loss of control and power over one's life.

Doing the same thing over and over again is a way to be calm and a way to control your failing brain. My husband washes the catfood dishes under running water for 5 minutes each. I have decided that it calms him, so I try not to fret about wasting water.

If the behavior is not harmful, try to ignore it. If it's "just" driving you crazy, try to distract her into some different activity.

If she wants to do it NOW, that's because she knows she will forget what it is if she has to wait. If she does it over and over again, it may be that she has forgotten that she just did it.

I've never heard of a link between actual OCD and dementia risk, but it makes sense. Any type of mental illness must burn out brain circuits much faster than normal.
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I am not a doctor and cannot say one way or the other if it is part of Dementia or not.
However, my mother did repeat herself for many years before she passed, It increased little by little and by the time she was in assisted living then nursing she was making all sorts of claims and repeatedly told me the same thing (about 20 times every 5 minutes) and didn't remember that she had told me. When she started getting irritated with me for saying that she already told me that , i would just nod my head or say ok, It's irritating but a minor thing to deal with considering what they are mentally going through. My mom must have told me a thousand or two times that she lost a tooth, someone punched her in the face, the woman in the next room had a baby and killed it, there were bugs biting her in her bed every night, the staff was having sex in a bathtub every night. AND that she had been raped (which when i requested that only a female help her undress at bedtime they had to report her claim to the state even though I told them that it was just a fantasy) OMG! Had to fill out a formal questionnaire about that claim for the state.........These claims continued increasingly until she passed. They got more elaborate and after awhile she talked about nothing else, repeatedly (AND I MEAN REPEATEDLY) I feel that it may have something to do with the brain gradually diminishing from the decease and the repeating is not recognized as such ....The repetition is somehow comforting to them. I'm sure that the physical repetition is somewhat the same. Smile, Grin and Bare it -----And just be glad that this is a harmless activity. ps The psych did put my mom on anti psychotics =but they did not seem to help-------Good luck I'll keep you in my prayers
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Clearly you are troubled by this and that's understandable now that your mother's behavior causes her harm. No matter what term is used to describe her actions, it's time for the doctor to do more than brush it off as aging. Does she seem happy? If not, press her doctor for medication which might help. This may take experimentation and patience. Blessings to you in handling this latest phase in the process.
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M Mom, who has Alzheimer's seems to have that sort of behavior as Well. She has become obsessive about doing things right now. If she decides she wants to go somewhere, i's right now! It doesn't matter to her that no one is available to accommodate her at that moment, she just insists and will pace the house and get angry. So I do believe OCD is part of the illness. Good luck with your
problem.
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Not as a medical person, but as a connoisseur of antidepressant medication, I know that a medication that works fine for 90% of everyone can really be bad for the other 10%. So I think it's not always bad to give Ativan to the elderly, but that they should be looking out for any sign of a bad reaction.

My experience with antidepressants is that Prozac upset my stomach but Zoloft was fine. My friend Jane found that Zoloft gave her diarrhea, but Prozac was fine.

I have used Ativan, and it is very gentle to me, but I know that I would be super careful if giving it to someone with liver or kidney problems, because they can't get it out of their system that easily. I also know that, even if the dose is small, I got some weird effects when I stopped cold turkey. I just took a half dose every other day for a few days, and then I stopped with no problem.
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@Jinx4740 - I'm tending to agree with both you & @Athena3 - I took Melantonin twice .05 mg NEVER again - gave me horribly vivid dreams - ugh - woke up every 15 min or so! And yet they still suggest it as a sleep aid - YES your body MAKES melantonin, BUT when you take anything as a supplement it can cause side effects - everyone'd different AND you have to know your own body & how it usually feels.
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@hacken7902 I read your post about the trash obsession and had to chuckle. That was one of the ocd behaviors that my husband did. He couldn't even wait for the grandchildren to eat all of their fruit cups and sometimes dumped the remaining fruit out on the table so he could walk to the outside trash can. If there was "trash" in the car, he would throw it out the window. He did this to a book, a camera, bills to be mailed, a bill of sale for an ATV and a garage control. I would have to circle around to try to find it again, hopefully in one piece. He would meet the mail lady out by the mail box. He would then promptly put it all in the trash can. On Fridays, trash day, I had to be sure to race out to the curb to retrieve any important mail before it was gone forever. Several bills didn't get paid on time and a couple of pay checks had to be replaced when I didn't quite get out there in time. LOL
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OCD can occur at any age. My son developed it at age six with compulsive hand washing. With treatment he has been able to function in adulthood. Repetition and memory loss appear to be pretty constant in AL although this is not my area of expertize.
My comment concerns the use of Ativan in the elderly. It is widely used for anxiety in hospice patients young and old. The dose is usually very small to start and gradually increased if the response is positive and more is needed . If the agitation increases which sometimes it does another medication is tried. Elderly people do tend to metabolize medications slower than the younger population so caution with dosage needs to be exercised. The worst effects of Ativan can lead to coma and death. Also with any new medication the drug interactions need to be checked before giving a dose this also includes herbal remedies too. On another track inserting a catheter is pretty pointless and in my view assault if the patient refuses. She will just pull it out anyway, this happens all the time. It must be remembered that no drug is 100% safe for 100% of the population but the risk is usually worth the result. Who wants to die in pain when medications are available even if in an addictive class. Some people require unbelievable amounts of narcotics at the end of life but hospice is not described as comfort care for nothing
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