The nursing home my mom is in has the LAZIEST accounting dept. They have a policy of doing absolutely SQUAT in helping families through the maze of how one goes about figuring out Medicaid eligibility, etc.
Yeah, I know: my siblings and I should have been prepared for this & done our homework. And that is absolutely correct. We were wrong, and we should have prepared better. Our parents were physically and mentally strong and vital; we felt fortunate and let it go. Then mom broke a hip, had a replacement operation and guess what? She was fitted with a defective replacement that has since been recalled by the manufacturer as over 89% of patients had adverse affects. It changed mom's life: she's wheelchair bound, incontinent and has major memory issues. Many other seniors with this same device have similar problems.
Dad's whole world fell apart when mom deteriorated; my husband, daughter and I moved into dad & mom's house 2 years ago because he couldn't care for himself any longer.
Would I have thought any of this would have ever happened? Of course not.
So the answer is: if you're a child with elderly parents: start looking into extended care now!! If you can convince your parents, try to gently persuade them to put their assets into the names of their children so that nursing homes cannot snatch them away if a medical catastrophe happens. Our parents were strong willed and controlling and rebelled the instant we brought that idea up long before any health issues started, so if that is difficult to broach I get it.
Now my sister and I are embroiled in the midst of a horrible financial mess with the nursing home, Medicaid, state advocate lawyers, personal injury lawyers, etc. The worry is continual. My life is not my own and that's OK; I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I feel it's going to be a long dark journey.
I feel for every single person experiencing this horrible ride.