I don't know if ya'll remember me, but I take care of my ex mil who has dementia and is an amputee. Gran has moved into mid or mid to late stage dementia. Her son Randy is my ex, and we all live in the same house!! :) with 4 teenagers. Anyway, Randy has leg issues from a construction accident when he was 21 (he is 58) and it has affected his whole body and mind. He went in for reconstructive surgery in September and didn't come home for 2 months. He was home for three weeks and went back into the hospital day before thanksgiving. He will be there 3 to 6 months. This is all to say : I am caregiver for both of them now, basically. When he first went into the hosp. , gran declined dramatically; got dehydrated, bedsore and uti. she is now in pullups and I dress her, help her to potty and bathe her when my back allows. we have a lady come in twice a week to bathe her very good and wash her hair. now that randy is back in the hospital, I feel that she will decline even more. Her strength is about half f what it was, and she can't use her prosthetic leg any more. she shakes a lot and cognitive abilities have declined also. I have a herniated disk, and fibrmyalgia, and I'm learning to take care of myself more, and I knwo that I cannot do this anymore.... the physical part. I can cook, clean house, do her meds, but cant bathe, change her often, lift her , change sheets often, because of my back. My question is, how do I find out about VA benefits? Her late husband was in the service. Also, we don't have funds to pay for a nursing home, althugh she owns 2 houses that are up for rent. She had to file bankruptcy a year ago because her late son stole all her money before he died. I need help for about 20 to 30 hours a week, and need money to pay for it! any ideas?