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My mother entered the skilled nursing wing of the nursing home for therapy. She has dementia secondary to normal pressure hydrocephalus which is often misdiagnosed in elderly because it looks like Alzheimer's or other dementia diseases. She had surgery to relieve the pressure, however, she was almost invalid before a doctor looked past the "Alzheimer's" label to look at the "big picture". Neurosurgeon said it will take time and patience for her to make progress. She has dementia type behavior and is wheelchair bound (cannot walk at all) and has expressive aphasia (unable to find the words to say what she wants) She just entered the nursing home wing a week ago. She was in a room without a roommate. Yesterday she got a roommate. The roommate appears to be bedridden, blind, hollers out, moans and cries out rather persistently. While my mom does have dementia, also, this roommate is really disturbing my mother. Mom gets upset by the sudden outbursts of the roommate and fusses at the distressing sounds. Am I out of line is suggesting this roommate is disturbing my mother? It just seems to be lacking respect for my mother. She should be able to "rest" and not get upset by the roommate.

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My mother-in-law thrived after her move to the nursing home but roommates were always a problem. Her issues were just her issues (she thought one large woman was a man).

I know that facilities have a lot of challenges when it comes to roommates and not getting along is an ongoing issue, but this situation is different than personality clashes.

Your mother has to put up with too much and this could contribute to her decline. I agree that something needs to be done. They either need to help this other poor woman get rest with some sedation or else your mom or the other woman needs be moved.

You'll have to stand firm on this to get them to do something. See if her doctor will back you up. If you can’t get action you could see if the long-term care ombudsman can help you. Go to ltcombudsman.org and type in the Zip code of the nursing home. This contact is your representative. If you can show that your mother's health is threatened by the situation they may be able to assist you. They are trained in solving problems for residents.

Good luck,
Carol
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And the reason you haven't stood up yet for your mom and made a fuss about this is ....?????? For crying out loud, get on this.
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How is the NH proposing to deal with this? That's what you ask them. When they can't come up with a sensible answer, they will be stating for themselves that the situation is unacceptable and must be addressed immediately. Stand your ground, you're absolutely in the right to demand that your mother is not upset or distressed in her surroundings.
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Totally agree! The roommate should be sedated or moved until she is under control. Mother will be deprived of sleep and her condition will decline.
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You can always ask to have her moved. My Dad has been in a NH for going on 2 years and has had 5 different rooms. One roommate was very mean, one was very loud (coughing) so he is finally in with a man that sleeps all day so perfect match as my Dad is very quiet. Good luck it is hard for sure.
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As an Ombudsman, it's pretty hard for me to determine the facts after the event. You should have immediately demanded the head nurse and not let it slide, not let the poor woman sit in filth.
Please go to the bulletin board in the facility and write down the state hotline number for complaints. The next time this happens you say "If you don't clean her up in fifteen minutes I call the hotline." Make the call if you have to.
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Spend some time today or tomorrow and document the roommate's outbursts, then do as CountryMouse suggests and turn the issue to the staff for action. State the problems, the frequency, effect on your mother, and emphasize that neither you or yor mother can do anything about this but that it impacts her mental and physical health and ask what they can do about it.

Good luck. We've had some bad roomnates, including those who vegetate in front of a tv all day long and don't even want to get out of bed to do PT.
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Carol are you sure your mother hadn't seen something you didn't see?! :)
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Call the Ombudsman assigned by State Law to the facility to look into this situation.
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Please understand as a studying NHA I can tell you that you cannot demand her roommate be moved thus tramping on her roommates rights and ethical code. You can however ask that your Mother be moved to a more suited room, or can pay the extra dollar to have a single room (if available).
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