My husband asked to be moved to another room in NH while his roommate was dying. Request was refused. Why?


My husband was the only person in the room while roommate was dying, he reassured roommate that all his friends and family were there, my husband was traumatized by this event.

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I would call the department of aging in your state and ask to speak with someone that inspects NHs. What you describe is awful.
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In the nursing home's defense, perhaps there were no empty rooms available. However, that being said, I find that very hard to believe.

When my fil was dying, they placed him in a private room and we (the family) took 24 hour shifts with him. The staff were very accommodating and checked on him frequently. I was impressed and very pleased, even though it was an older facility and not as pretty and modern as most.

I'm so sorry that your husband was placed in this position. Was it long and drawn out or did it at least happen quickly? That was very sweet of your husband to have the presence of mind to reassure his roommate. I do believe I would talk to the head of the facility about this situation and register your dissatisfaction with their handling of it.
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Wow I am really surprised! Usually NH's are very careful with these situations. Strange that no staff was around during this time either. Sounds like your husband was being used as a watcher. He must feel terrible and think that the same thing (dying with no one you love around) could happen to him.

At the last NH mom was in after her hip episode, they even converted a patient lounge into a special room for a dying patient and his/her family and friends. They provided food and refreshments and kept the patient comfortable. I thought that was handled well.

Was this a DNR issue for the roommate? I would be really upset with the staff. I would think there is a HIPPA violation at the very least. Your husband should not have been left in that situation. I would ask to see the director of the nursing home and demand an explanation and also counseling for your husband. I would also contact the Long Term care Ombudsman as this sounds like the roommate was not well cared for in his final moments either.

I would insist on a new room must have been very scarey for your husband.

God Bless!
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