We are scared that the nursing home is medicating our family member because he is a "needy" patient. Any suggestions?

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We have a family member that is currently living in a nursing home but has been really ill and is hospitalized right. He originally went to the hospital due to a fall from a possible seizure. When he seem to come out of the seizure, he seemed to be talking and knowledgeable. The staff was giving him meds that would ease him so they could do test. I left my mother their with him as she is his primary care giver. They omitted him for test and such. I didn't see him for a few days but my mom kept telling me he was just sleeping and didn't seem to know anyone when they could get him awake. Mom didn't feel that she could take care of him in this state so they moved him to the attached nursing home. Every time we seen him he was acting sedated. I started feeling concerned that he was medicated way too much. At some point he got real ill and they sent him to the ER. They moved him to the ICU. After a few days there he started coming around. We were able to talk to him and he would respond back. The doctor told us that his sleeping and not responding is dementia. He was transferred back to the nursing home where within 24 hours seemed sedated again. I guess our concern is that we are scared that they are medicating him because he is a "needy" patient. We are not ruling out dementia because we did see some signs at home. We don't know what to do. We have been told that he has not been given anything but...it's just doesnt seem right. Any comments would be appreciated.

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I agree with others who suggest he had a stroke. So the person with HCP (health care proxy) would be in charge of his health care decisions. If they do not wake up after a stroke, their time for survival is very short and hospice may be called in. Your mom may not want to talk about that; just support her all you can.
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A seizure can be the start of a stroke which of course can lead to unconsciousness. It is also typical for someone who is having seizures to be unresponsive for hours after a seizure. Anti seizure medications can also make someone very sleepy and appear to be sedated.
The first sign of a brain tumor or the spread of cancer to the brain is often a seizure.
Lots of reasons to request further testing so it can be decided what if any treatment would be apropriate. Abnormal changes in an MRI are often simply due to natural aging. My brain MRI showed these changes and the neurologist said if I was 40 it would be diagnostic of MS but with an older person it was exactly what they would expect to see.
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Another possible cause of the fall, rather than a seizure exactly, would be a stroke or a TIA (similar to a stroke but passing off within 24 hours). Either of these could lead to your family member's seeming confused and being extremely fatigued, and either could be part of an ongoing pattern of mini-strokes and TIA's. If the NH has assured you that he is not being medicated, then I hope you can set your minds at ease that he is not being "drugged up" to make him easier to handle. It's his medical condition that is causing these worrying symptoms.

This is very early days, and your best bet is to "hope for the best, prepare for the worst." With rest and care he could recover, or it may be that there is still some serious risk.

Your mother should ask the doctor to sit down and explain properly what is happening and what the doctor expects next. Just saying "oh it's dementia" and scooting off out of the room is not good enough: she's entitled to detailed, comprehensible answers.
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Is he your father or step father? Do you have DPOA or HCPOA? Whoever is responsible for him might discuss their concerns with the facility and doctor. I would expect to know his condition, his meds, the dosage, the times he's medicated, why he's medicated, etc. I would question the doctor how he knows the sleeping is dementia and what tests, observation or facts does he base this on. Is he a Neurologist that regularly treats patients with dementia? From my experience, ER doctors don't have much training in dementia.

Did the ER do a CT scan or MRI after his fall? Do you know if there was any damage, stroke or other reason that he would appear to be so sedated? Is he being treated for seizures? I know that my young niece has a seizure disorder that they try to treat with medication and she is can sleep a lot during the day sometimes. She's not always drowsy though.

Do you know the meds he's on and the dosage?

I don't think there's anything wrong with advocating for this family member to ensure that he's been properly diagnosed and is being properly medicated.
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Have you had a "care meeting" with the nursing home? Once a patient is admitted, a meeting with staff to discuss his care plan should be scheduled. At that time, you should review his medications. Is one of you his medical health care proxy?
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