Follow
Share

My mom was put in a nursing home in June 2015 after she was first sectioned at the hospital. She has lewy body dementia.

At first the nursing home staff were brilliant, they were very attentive and we could ask them anything.

My sister has started visiting mom every day and we are all estranged from her, I am not interested in having a relationship with her again. But I have noticed that since she started visiting mom, the home has changed their attitudes towards us.

About 3 weeks ago, mom had an accident where she fell down and twisted her ankle. We saw it was very swollen and so my dad told them about it and they said they knew she had fell down but didnt notice her ankle was swollen! (are they blind?). We have had numerous talks with the staff about mom's ankle and how it is not getting any better. We feel as though we can't talk to one of the staff, she is very nasty to us and talks very sarcastic to us.

Yesterday we went and mom's ankle was still swollen and we said to her have you told the people who work here about it. She said yes but they don't listen. So on our way out, me and dad told them about it and the lady who is sarcastic to us said we had the nurse out and she said its just arthritis but she will not rest it. She does walk a long way though. Anyway the woman said mom's making it up! I was so angry when she said that cause I know my mom and I know when she is milking it and with this she is not. Today I took her some pain relief and she took one. Tomorrow I intend to give her another tablet.

Sorry for the long post but I just don't feel like my mother is getting the care she deserves from them. She is very depressed and cries begging us to take her home. I hate her being in there.

Another thing she is diabetic but we find lots of candy wrappers in her room!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
In that case, I would go with dad and have a meeting with the director of nursing and the social worker. Ask them quite frankly, what's up with this change in their care, their lack of notification to your dad of the fall, the lack of care for that, the candy. I would not go in angry, I'd go in concerned and questioning why her care has changed. You want to work with them. If you get to the point that you no longer want to work with them, you need to move her.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My dad doesn't have memory issues at all. He wasn't contacted about a fall but they also took her out and we weren't contacted then either, which I am sure they should have.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

One family member should be the "point person" for nh to contact. Is that dad? If he has memory issues, you need to figure out how to get the nh to talk to another family member as well.

You should have one point of contact at the nh. For us, it's the social worker. Do not bother talking to anyone who is sarcastic or ironic with you.

Please try to understand that dementia patient's are sometimes delusional, sometimes makes things up to fit that they are seeing. If my mom has diarrhea , she says " they are giving me something that made me have diarrhea " no, not really. It just happens sometimes, ma.

If her ankle is swollen, it it possible it's edema from heart issues?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

chantee1982, if your Mom is into the stages of dementia where she is unable to live at home, why are you asking her about her medical information regarding her ankle???

Did your Mom in fact actually fall? Usually whenever there is any type of fall the nursing home will call the contact person [whomever that person would be in your family] and relay that a fall had happened and how the patient is doing. Since no one got a call, it could be there wasn't a fall.

DO NOT bring in pain medication or any other type of medication into a nursing home. Good heavens, you could over-dose your Mom without realizing it. Remember, your Mom has memory issues.....a nurse could have given her extra-strength Tylenol a hour prior and your Mom forgot.

Please learn all you can about dementia and the different stages so that you are armed with all the knowledge. Go to the blue bar at the top of the page, click on SENIOR LIVING, now click on ALZHEIMER'S CARE, now scroll down to the articles. Alzheimer's is a form of dementia, so it is important to read those articles, too.

The nurses at my Mom's nursing home really appreciate the fact that I have armed myself with knowledge about my Mom's condition so I am not going into unnecessary drama over something that is normal. My Mom fell out of bed the other day, and the nurse was going to give me a call, but I walked in the door so she told me face to face... I took it in stride, because that is the nature of the beast [dementia] and plus the nurses cannot be glued to Mom's side 24 hours a day. Mom was fine after the fall and probably didn't even knew she had fallen.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

The ankle should have been x-rayed. WHO is on the nursing home records as the person to notify? Dad? Did they call him and he does not remember? The person who holds the Health Care Proxy needs to get to the bottom of this.
The candy wrappers are possible if mom had low blood sugar and they gave her a candy to raise it. She might also be getting candy from other residents. They all have a stash and they share many things . Once again, the HCP needs to look into this. Bringing in medications, especially Rx pain relievers, can land you in real hot water with the DOH (dept of health). Please do not get yourself in legal trouble. Talk to the Head Nurse if you are the HCP.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Our water should read your sister. Autocorrect and the inability to edit is a damn shame on this website. There's no excuse for a forum to be structured in a way that doesn't allow editing. There's software out there easily available. Perhaps the site should do a fundraiser on line here.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I'm as concerned about the candy as anything. Is your sister doing that?

"They said they knew she fell down." I would have gone ballistic. You should have received a phone call when she fell. Period. It would have been your family spokesperson's decision on whether or not to have her transported to the hospital for an ex-ray.

Your family should have ONE PERSON who is the go-between with the nursing home staff. Perhaps you are overloading staff with questions and input...especially with our water going there every day.

I would schedule an appt my with staff to discuss the fall, your estranged sister's role, discovery about the candy bars, and, most important, clear written instructions on exactly who is in charge of mom's care. Ask dad to relinquish his natural right to one of you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter