The nursing home is holding my Mother "hostage" with a POA that was forged. Any help?

Babalou I am in tears right now. SW at NH won't let my mother sign a revocation (printed the document) of POA saying she is not cognitively able. He sent his assistant to find out if my Mom wanted to come home and he said she didn't, but as soon as I went back up stairs my Mom said she wants to come home with me. Right then I asked the assistant SW to listen to her she refused. I feel NH is keeping my MOM against her will. She's been begging to come home with me when I leave as I sit with her for hours.

Army Retired God bless you for your advice, however I feel I can care for my mother better at home. She has lost weight, 20lbs in 6-8wks because she refuses to eat food often. She is extremely depressed before I make my presence known. She is not receiving PT regularly and has regressed from standing with assistance. The locks have been left off her bed as this makes transport from wheelchair to bed dangerous. My Mom continues to ask me to take her home with me. Her things come up missing from time to time. I don't see that my mother will be properly cared for if I'm not around as she is in a stage where she needs family in her immediate presence, not someone that comes and goes as the NH is understaffed and turns over frequently. My mother's AM nurse does not meet my approval as she granted a pass for me and called my sister to create a conflict as she called CNAs on cell phone to not put my mother in my car and she did not tell my sister we were just going on a ride, so my sister taught I was taking my Mom home to stay since the Judge decided against my guardianship the day before as my sister faxed the POA order and POA that was ruled legal by the substitute Judge as I am in the process of appealing this decision because the Paraisia Winston Gray, Esq (court appointed guardian) told my mother she was being released to me Monday before last, but called me Thursday and said my sister hand a POA, so my Mom didn't need guardianship.

Jean Gibbs because my mother has dementia does not mean she doesn't need the love of family. I had the love of family when she was changing me and seeing to my every need. Why does age change this element of love? - senile dementia or not. My Mom still loves me and calls my name for help - like when she was constipated yesterday I had to contact the head nurse just to get her milk of magnesia, moreover she is regressing since the beginning of the year as now the PT is talking about putting on Hoyer lift, not exercising her legs to stand saying it is safer for my Mom and CNA, even though she was standing with assistance at the beginning of the year. She does not have the PT she requires to walk again and she has regressed from standing diagnosis the PT gave me a few days ago. No one has been giving her PT for months. I was told she had to have Medicare directly from a hospital stay to get more PT, but my sister had her in the hospital for a knee fracture and did not put her in the NH at that time and lost the PT my Mom should have had.

Pam Stegma God bless you for your concern and advice. My sister is claiming POA over my Mom's personal, medical, and finance decisions, but from my understanding POAs should only be for medical and finance as my sister is using the "personal" POA to deny me from taking my mother home with family. My Mom's signature could not be as neat as it was after a stroke as you suggest and nothing that has the slightest resemblance to my Mom's signature on my birth certificate. The Report of Physician suggested "partial guardianship" of medical and finance. The notary seal expired 2010, but I was told that she needs to renounce the POA and I printed a legal document to renounce the POA, but the SW at NH said she is not cognitively able to sign it, even though her doctor has not declared her incompetent. She has senile dementia though, but she still knows where she is and she does not want to live in a NH as she is begging to come home with me, but the SW and his assistant refuse to allow her to say this in my presence and sign a revocation of POA.

Momlover123, when I left the NH tonight, my mother begged me to take her home. This is something new for her. It is heartbreaking for me. But I knew she dimmly is expecting that when she gets home her husband (my dad) will be there. He died 20 years ago. She kept wanting to know where the kids are, and wasn't thinking of her children as adults. This is very sad. But I knew (and my sisters agree) that she is exactly where she needs to be. Just because she "wants" to be home doesn't mean it would be best for her.

If you are thinking that a woman with dementia is the one who knows best, that is a little scary, don't you think?

Love her where she is.

If your mother is competent, she can sign a new POA.

Guardianship has to do with competency of my Mom, not your judgment of my Mom's cost of care that the NH is receiving instead of a loved family member willing to care for her. My Mom's quality of life is severely diminished and she is not aging in place in her home and community. Thanks for your comment though misinformed.

I have never heard of "partial guardianship". Courts award guardianship for either the person (medical) or the estate (financial) or for both. A notary witnesses the person actually signing the document and is unlikely to risk fines, jail and loss of license; apparently the judge agrees. Signatures would NOT match after a stroke, and a notary can witness a simple X if that is all the patient can muster.
I would caution you to make no attempt to take her out of there or you may find yourself banned from seeing her at all. At this point she is a ward of the court and it is up to the Judge where she lives and who sees her.

Momlover123, after reading all of yoir posts, I understand why the courts denied you guardianship of your mother. You are ill-prepared to properly care for your mother in your home. You are oblivious to the amount and cost of care your mother will require. I commend you for wanting to care for your mom in your home. Yoir mom is better off where she is with yoi visiting regularly.

I am amazed that you don't want her to stay in the nursing home. Where have you been these last years when mom was apparently living in a home dilapidated enough to be condemned by the city?

Maggie I urged my sister for years to get a full-time job and stop the get rich quick schemes but she refused saying that she will not work for anyone but herself. She has lost her business due to owner selling and she has been looked over for promotion due to family business, but this is still no reason not to get a full-time job to support her aging mother and building. She's blessed to earn a building and let it go.

I have created a portfolio for my Mom that includes a table of contents with her history, photos (picture above, father's obituary and legacy, mother-myself-son, one-person assist, trunk strength on toilet, sitting up in chair), caregiver information, aging in place chart with Su to Sa and 21 activities from AM-PM-EVG on Velcro, proof of forged signature with birth certificate, building violations, and court papers for guardianship. It's very difficult to get legal representation for a contested guardianship case and the free legal services said they wouldn't even help me with the legal papers if it was contested.

Babalou my sister is appointed personal, medical, and finance for POA. No no is appointed guarardian, but my sister threatens to get guardianship if I keep trying to get my Mom out of the NH. My Mom begged to come home with me but the NH SW and assistant SW said she did not want to go with me and they would not listen to her in my presence. I stay with her from 11 am to 6 pm yesterday and many days and she was begging me to take her with me when I left yesterday.

The fact that your mom says she doesn't know what a POA is and says she won't sign anything for you suggests to me that she has diminished mental capacity. A person who can't understand a POA can't grant one.

Who is being appointed guardian for medical and financial decisions?

I would work on getting mom to a place where PT can happen. I would also stop referring to the nurse as a " prankster nurse". That sort if name calling is beneath you.

Maggie Marshall my sister has had control over my Mom for 30 years and my sister dictates what she does and has done or not done for 30 years. My sister is the reason why my Mom is not homeless and living today, but now that my Mom's in a NH I feel it's time for me to take over and give my Mom a family back.

Katie Kay I know what I am in for and it's why I am a woman o a man is a man as we experience and mature throughout life. I have to nurture and care for my mother and return the years I was dependent on her motherhood. My mother is wheelchair bound and one person assist daily even though the NH insists she is 2 person assist. I can handle 124lbs and I have family to help me.

Maggie Marshall God bless you for your concern and brother's keeper mentality. My mother is not happy and I keep going to see her every day and it's costly as I pay for transportation, and she doesn't always eat the NH food and she's losing weight that's unhealthy at the rate she loses it. She has lost about 20 lbs in about 2 months at one time - from 144 to 124. Most of her life she has been about 180lbs I believe. I lived with my Mom from 1996 to about 2007 but after paying my sister 10 years for rent she still refused to get a 9 to 5 job that would allow her to care for my mother and her family. Babalou's comment referring to finances is right in that my sister couldn't afford to pay $1,250/wee for care, so she may not have been able to get a 9 to 5 job. Thank you, I never thought of that that way before, even though a 9 go 5 could have helped her pay for home care while she worked, cared for family, received child support, Mom's social security, Medicaid, settlement from son's death, and my rent for 10 years (apartment used for storage for about the last 8 years).

My sister said the NH has called the police on me because I had said I would call the authorities on them - after I signed the pass and signed her out they abruptly took my mother back to the NH while the CNAs were putting her in my car and my mother's nurse lied and said my mother needed her medicine when not 10 minutes ago my mother's nurse from 7:00am to 300 pm told me she had all her medicine for the day. My Mom was very hurt and disappointed after her nurses prank as I asked her nurse a few times within 2 calls if everyone had approved my mother's visit and pass. My mother's nurse had called my sister after she had approved the pass to start a conflict with my sister and I.as the SW suggested that my sister be notified before I took my Mom for a visit, but my Mom's nurse had lied to me and said everyone had approved my Mom's visit with me. Moreover, my Mom's AM nurse did not tell my sister that I was just taking my mother for her a ride as this nurse had just approved my mother's pass. So, my sister got furious over my Mom possibly going to live with me without her permission after the court ruled in favor of her POA the day before as my sister faxed the order and POA to my mother's prankster nurse. I got furious over my mothers civil liberties to come and go as she pleases. This happened Saturday, 8/22/15. I also have an issue with my mother's nurse taking my mothers belongings and leaving her bed locks off when I had to catch her to keep her from falling July 9th.

Jeanne Gibbs the Head Nurse was suppose to get back to me yesterday. I called twice and I was on the premises visiting my mother, usually daily, but I did not here from the Head Nurse as I was there from morning to afternoon. I will let you know what the administration decides.

I feel my sister was negligent in the way she cared for my mother by not getting a 9 to 5 job and keeping her building up to code and standard living conditions. However God will always bless her for the 30 years she sacrificed for our mother. I don't want to be the devil's advocate, but I just feel her quality of life could have been better, but if my sister hadn't taken her in she would be homeless and possibly dead.

Jeanne Gibbs God bless you for your concern. My Mom said she didn't sign anything and she's not going to sign anything, but she doesn't understand if she doesn't renounce the POA that I can't take her home on visits or to live. She wanted to go back home with my sister, but my sister can't afford to fix her home and bring it up to code and even inhabitable. My Mom said she didn't sign any Power of Attorney and she doesn't even know what POA means.

God bless you Babalou for suggesting PT, but it's just not happening there. I can see to it at my home.

My sister stopped Mom's therapy and said she would never walk again. The PT said Mom has every potential to walk again. I was then referred to two other PTs in the NH and one never got back to me after the first PT referred me to her and the other had no idea of the stage of my Mom's PT as she thought my Mom should be standing since October 2014, but she talked to the CNAs and they told her she wasn't standing and they were still helping her to the bed, moreover my mother has trunk control and holds the rail and sink when she goes to the bathroom, but understaff does not appear to allow her the services she needs or they don't want to take her to the toilet. In any case my mother deserves PT and everyone wants to age in place in home and community.

Mom's report of physician reads that only partial guardianship is recommended for medical and financial decisions.

Typos "y" is my. and "Sear" is Seal.

Babalou do you really think my sister paid $1250/wk for 30 years. She found ways with her family to keep my mother living since my mother was 58 years old. God bless you for your comment and wisdom. No level of care issue in terms of quality of life restrictions except she's in wheelchair after a stroke years ago and bone loss. She was attending regular doctors visits living with my sister, not a NH, until October, 2014 - still has a doctor at NH and hospital.
The POA takes away her civil liberties when she has a child that's willing to provide caregiving services and take her around the city in a wheel chair to experience a more fulfilled life with family love. Mom said she didn't sign anything, and since she had a stroke in about 2005, how could she neatly sign a POA in 2007. It reads "POWER OF ATTORNEY" - centered, bold, and underline in caps. I, .xxxxxxx xxxxxxx of xxxx xxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx, xxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxx 606xx, Social Security Number xxx-xx-xxxx, being of sound mind, do hereby appoint y daughter, xxxxx x xxxxx, as my Power of Attorney for all of my personal, financial, medical and legal matters, beginning on today, Saturday, July 7, 2007. This appointment shall remain in force until I, in writing, rescind it.

Signed,
xxxxxxx xxxxxxx Date July 7, 2007

xxxx
County
On this 7th day of July A.D. 2007, in my presence, Roberta Boulden, known to me (or made known for me by satisfactory evidence) to be the woman who signed and sealed the foregoing instrument and acknowledged to me that she executed the same for the purpose and consideration therein expressed.

xxxxxx x xxxxxx
Notary

My notary expires 6/16/10
(Sear below expiration)


.

About the POA that was "forged" in July of 2007. For a Notary to sign it he or she has to either know your mother or ask for a picture ID (often they ask for ID even if they know you) and then has to watch while your mother signs it. This is why the court would have a very hard time accepting a claim of forgery. BTW, does your mother claim she never signed it?

You can see that representing yourself has not been very successful for you so far. I urge you to hire a lawyer whose specialty is Elder Law. (I don't expect anyone will "give" you a lawyer.)

Perhaps this will be resolved at an administrative meeting. Let us know how that comes out.

My mother is in a nursing home. Very few of the residents there are invalids. If they can get out of bed at all, they are taken in wheelchairs to the entertainment, crafts, bingo -- anything they might have an interest in. With people living so much longer these days the population of a nursing home is far different than a care place for invalids (although of course they do that, too.)

even if you do find it hard, I do understand the POA situation; my dad's grandson did tell dad's home care people he had it, although he didn't even have any documentation and they didn't ask for any but if they had, if he'd given them any it would have had to have been forged because I had it; that is, unless my dad would have signed another one, which I am concerned about did happen with your mom since something was said about her having dementia, though not sure I see where that came from, since my dad did as well but something I don't understand if she supposedly had it as long as she did, who signed her into the nursing home?

I guess what I'm saying is, I think that this is a bad idea. I would invest myself in getting her PT first at the nh. If she becomes more mobile, home care becomes more doable.

"She needs partial guardianship for medical and financial decisions". Isn't her level of care (nh vs home) a medical decision?

Okay, so you're going to need say 10 hours a day of aide care while you're at work. Where I live, that translates into 250. $ day, 5 days a week, assuming that you are "on duty" 24/7 on weekends. That's 1250$ a week, or 60,000$ per year. And it doesn't factor in any respite. Does mom have that level of SS funds?

Mom is not happy. She wants to come home with me. I will change her and get her home care during the day with her Social Security and Medicaid. She deserves more quality of life than a nursing home. She's not an invalid. I can at least try to improve her quality of life.

she said she was prepared to give it