The nursing home is holding my Mother "hostage" with a POA that was forged. Any help?

Nobody is "happy" in a nursing home. It is NOT a reason to bring somebody home with you. I believe you are underestimating the amount of care an old person with dementia needs.

Have you actually investigated "in-home care?" It is often a revolving door of unreliable home health aides. What is your "contingency" plan when they "call in" or just don't bother to show up? Are you willing to diaper her and clean up her feces as the dementia progresses? What will you do when she enters the "violent" stage of the disease?

I recommend thinking the situation through thoroughly and avoid making a decision based on "emotional" reasons.

It might be bad etiquette to revive an old thread here, but I disagree with the answers that expressed negativity toward the askers' desires and intention. He mother was going to die much sooner and in much worse health in that nursing home than she would in her own home, with the same amount of money spent on home care as is spent on the nursing home.

I found out how genuinely harmful bedrest is to the elderly by seeing my father all but destroyed on 9 weeks of bedrest, engineered and maintained by my sister, using a revoked power of attorney. She despises him and wanted him out of our mother's life for as long as possible because he'd become incredibly irritable and demanding.

I also wonder why so many answers doubt that it is possible to want to care for your parents out a respect and reciprocity for all they invested in you. I'll move mountains to keep my parents in their own home and am ready to sue my siblings if they try to have them removed. I put myself in their place, imagine being forcefyulluq removed from a home I've loved for 60 years and taken to a) jail b) the zoo c) a dystopian nightmare d) all of the above, known as a nursing home. The feeling would be terror, and terror is not tolerated in the new place.

CarrieSoCal, not to totally negate where you're coming from, but not sure how nursing home was being paid, but if she was on Medicaid, it wouldn't necessarily pay for inhome care; the rules are different and if I remember correctly, she really didn't have the money to hire it, although she talked about it but think she didn't really know how much it would cost, at least to have much; now she might have been willing to take on the task herself, but...
my dad's grandson basically had the same attitude but after basically doing that to keep my dad out of a nursing home, after 2 yrs. it was just about too much

Carrie, there were many, many other factors at play with this OP and her mother, plus major family dynamics at play. There were probably 10-15 other threads from this OP that gave conflicting stories and in the end, there was no clear resolution. There were reasons we don't know about as to why the OP was being barred from visiting, and she gave multiple stories about the whole situation several times. Her mother passed away 2 years ago and the OP is no longer active on the site.

Unfortunately, things aren't always what they seem when someone posts. (Please don't take offense to that - but those of us that have been here for several years have seen this happen before.)

I don't see the harm in posting onto old threads on this website. If someone is searching under topics for words like "elder exploitation" "hostage" "nursing home" and "POA" then this thread comes up and it can start a new person helping or getting help from those who post on here. My mother passed away in 2016 but people need to know my story on how both unethical lawyers in conjunction with corrupt nursing homes can basically take full advantage of an elderly parent with dementia.

I agree with Maggie. IF you can get a NH for your loved one who needs 24 hour care and medical staff, count yourself lucky. The wait list for govt. funded care is long and getting longer by the day with us baby-boomers aging. If YOU embrace where she is and definitely stop the drama you will help make her final years happier. I do not believe she will be better off in your home with you at work all day and with a caregiver you don't know (I dealt with MANY during my husbands last years, its NOT a high-paying pleasant job and usually you get what you pay for).

Please note, this post was 3 years ago. OP no longer responding.

OP's mom passed away. Case closed, folks.