A couple of weeks ago, it became necessary for me to place my mother in a nursing home. I won't go into the guilt this decision has stirred up, and I thought I was handling it pretty well, considering...
But for the past week and a half, my mother has deteriorated rapidly. Her first few days there, we noticed an improvement. But I went in one day last week and found her mental status altered. She was way more confused than usual, and she's talking all sorts of weird stuff. What this looks like to me is her past pattern of UTI/dehydration, which landed her in the hospital three times in the past two years. She is also collecting fluid in her feet and hands, and having some trouble with breathing.
I know she's not getting her Parkinson's meds on time, and who knows what other meds are being administered incorrectly or not at all. She's unable to lift a cup to drink from, so I rely on nurses and CNAs to keep her hydrated when I'm not there, and from the looks of things, that's not being done either. Her mouth is so dry, she can hardly talk sometimes.
I'm there every day to feed her lunch and dinner, so I know what times she's supposed to be receiving her meds. When an hour and a half has gone by and the nurses haven't shown up with the medications, I go looking for them. I don't like having to do that.
I've spoken several times to the nurses (including the Director of Nursing) about my concerns and they always smile in that patronizing way and reassure me that everything will be fine, but I know my mother. This is NOT her "normal."
I'm pretty worried. My instinct is to get her out of there. Is this just a sneaky variation of nursing home guilt, or is there real reason for concern?