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my mom needs cataract surgery (eye Dr assessed last Aug.) and the Dr of nursing home will NEVER listen to anything I have to say... he refuses it. How can I get around this QUACK?

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Whoa, wait a minute. If mom has even a hint of glaucoma, do not do the cataract surgery. If she cannot follow the post op instructions, including eye shield, not rubbing eyes, not straining or bending over----don't do it.
Sometimes the "quack" is the one pushing for the surgery. Keep that in mind.
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Your mom is in a NH and your profile states that her primary issue is vision problems? I've never known vision issues alone to be sufficient reason for one to be admitted to a nh. What other health issues are involved?
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Document, document, document, then go to the DON or Administrator of the home - go above him; bring documentation if you can get it from your mother's ophthalmologist. Refusing someone necessary surgery (unless there are other complicating issues) is not excusable.

I'm wondering though - why does he have to approve surgery which obviously couldn't be done at the NH?
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flrgirl40, what are your Mom's other health issues, as on your profile you only vision problems? Usually one isn't placed in a nursing home because of this, so there has to be a back story. Please give us more information.
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