Shouldn't the nursing home have contacted me?

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Yesterday, I tried to call my mom from 9 am to 3:30pm (if she didn't pick up by then I was going to call the nurse because sometimes she accidentally puts her phone on silent). At 3:30 she picked up and all she could say was "help help". I could tell her voice sounded strange, not frantic, almost calm. I called the nurse and she said she would check. My mom then called me back saying how she was in pain, but again her voice was different and she didn't sound in pain, then my mom said the nurse is here, and I got off the phone. Well then two hours pass and I get concerned again (my mom always calls me back). So I call my mom, she picks up and starts talking about how she doesn't know what's wrong, etc, etc, almost like she has dementia (which she doesn't, she is very mentally capable). I go on and ask questions and it turns out she was in bed all day and she said she had no drugs, but she wasn't in pain. I call my brother and sister, thinking maybe she had a stroke. My sister and I talk and decide to call the nurse. Turns out my mom had lots of pain meds at 5:30am that day and has been confused and in bed all day.... Now, at what point is the nursing home supposed to contact me? I thought I should be noticfied on changes in meds, as well as behavior changes. My mom was laying in bed confused and unsure what was going on all day by herself when it's not normal at all for her. She is always in her scooter doing something. By the time I found out it was too late for me to visit since I had to put my 3 little ones to bed. Not even including having the fear she had a stroke or something.

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My mom was lethargic all day in bed yesterday and last night and I didn't know how bad it was until I went in today. She was laying there saying help me help me over and over. Now this is a woman who is fully mentally capable. I am listed to have them call me, and they all fully admit I should have been. She is now at the ER because of how high they upped her muscle relaxers so quickly.
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I know there were times when my Mom had a fall at long-term-care and I wasn't notified until hours later unless 911 was called.... but I had to tell myself that in a nursing home is there also triage.

Thus the nurses/aides could have been tending to other residents that needed immediate care, probably having to call 911, etc... thus those of us who's love ones had a minor fall or aren't in immediate danger are pushed to the back of the call list. Sometimes I was totally missed, but for me that was ok because some day my Mom might need to be at the head of the list for triage.
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If she has an Rx for pain there is more than Parkinson's in the picture. Who is the contact person / health care proxy? That person needs a regular sit down with the head nurse to follow mom's progress.
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Absolutely! Talk to the lead nurse and the director (ideally together) in person and question them. Make sure they have your number and that they know you are the contact person (usually just 1 person) for your mother, and that you would like to be notified of any and all changes.
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