Nursing home called to let me know that my dad has taken up a relationship with a female patient. Anyone deal with this before?

Question

Nursing home called to let me know that my dad has taken up a relationship with a female patient. Anyone deal with this before?

Follow

Share

34 Answers

I don't see wherein lies the problem of him being in a romantic relationship with another resident if they are both happy.
Your dad is in a nursing home. Granted, you say it's a nice place and everything but it's still a nursing home. What's so wrong with them being in a romantic relationship if it brings them comfort and happiness? Even if he has cognitive decline and his girlfriend does too, if they are happy right now in each other's company then they should be left alone. It's not like an unplanned pregnancy will happen. Or even sex for that matter.
If a problem should arise in the future with him and his girlfriend like one doesn't remember the other or something, then that would be the time to separate them. Not now. For now they should just let them be happy together. It's cruel that the nursing home staff took that away from them.

Helpful Answer (8)

Report

There was a movie a few years ago starring Julie Christie on this very subject. I can't recall the title. She was nominated for an Oscar for her portrayal in it. Maybe you could see it and see a different perspective than how the NH is describing it to you. I think many NH places want issues to fit into their plan that makes their lives easier. We all know how much more difficult and isolating Covid had made lives for our relationships with family in facilities.

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

'Away From Her' was the name of that Julie Christie movie.
Life in a nursing home is usually very lonely and very boring for the people living it. If two residents get together and can alleviate each other's boredom and loneliness then great. It's cruel that the nursing home staff took that away from them.

(13)

Report

My uncle, a devoted husband and devout Catholic developed a lovely relationship with a lady at his memory care shortly after he was moved there. My aunt died of a massive heart attack a few weeks after moving him in (he was a wanderer; she claimed that no one could care for him the way she could). I would let this be.

Helpful Answer (12)

Report

This is pretty common. My mom and dad were in assisted living, mom died and we moved dad to the memory care unit in the same facility. He immediately glommed onto a lady who looked a little like my mom, would introduce her as L, my wife, they’d hold hands and sit together at mealtime. They both had fairly advanced dementia. The staff was used to this and kept an eye on things. Once or twice dad tried to crawl into bed with her but staff was there to deal with it and divert him.

I was worried the lady’s family might demand some action be taken but they never did. I don’t even know if she had any family active in her care.

I don’t think this is anything to freak out about but it seems that the administration in your case is acting a little harshly. Have a talk. See what’s really going on. It could be a situation that’s harder to handle for the staff than what I went through with my dad.

Helpful Answer (17)

Report

1 2

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Nursing home called to let me know that my dad has taken up a relationship with a female patient. Anyone deal with this before?

34 Answers

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions