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My mom is in a Skilled Care & Rehab Facility. She has been there for 2 months. In the beginning it was fine. This past week she became very ill. Vomiting and diarrhea. She had no appetite. On my mom's worst day the aide came in her room and was throwing her shoes and slippers around the room and acting very aggravated. She helped my mom on the toilet and was yelling at her. My mother did yell back. The aide put my mom back into her wheelchair, without any underwear or Depends, and pushed her into her room and left her there. My mom had diarrhea in the wheelchair. It went on the floor. She had nothing but her shirt on. The nurses did not answer her call. 4 interns came in with their instructor and took my mom to the shower and cleaned her and helped her.


My mother has her full faculties and is a very gentle and sweet person. When I visited her this past weekend, she rang the bell for some ginger ale for her upset stomach. We waited for 45 min. I went to the nurses desk and there were 2 nurses and and an aide talking and joking around. I asked if my mom could have a ginger ale. The aide went into the kitchen, got one, and said "you enjoy your ginger ale now". What the hell is going on? I do not want to leave my mom there!!!! I am going there Tuesday to make a formal complaint against the aide who left my mom in her room with only a shirt on and the incident on Saturday. This is all unacceptable and inappropriate!!! She was very humiliated! What if she was having a heart attack and no one answers her call?


I am beyond upset!!!! Thank God my mom can tell me what goes on. I think about those residents that have no voice to complain!


Is this in every long term care facility? Is this how aides are? The office staff are very accommodating and nice, but the nurses and aides are just awful!!!! They act as if the residents are inconveniencing them!

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Both of my parents have been to a number of rehabs in the last few years and we have never experienced anything like that. The worst incident was finding Dad sitting in his wheelchair, in a chilly hallway without his sweater on, not good but certainly nothing like your experience.

Definitely report this behavior.
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I can tell you that not every facility is like that. Luz received excellent care in rehab here in Las Vegas. I know this will vary by facility. But in your case, I would get her out of there right now and do the reporting afterwards. But don't wait too long afterwards.
I wish I could say the same for the hospitals.

Good luck
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I had my mother in a HORRENDOUS rehab Skilled Nursing facility over Memorial Day weekend for 20 days rehab after a hospital stay. I was shocked at how awful she was being treated and made arrangements to get her out of there asap. It took 5 days because of the holiday, so I wound up spending every day there to make sure she got out alive. The DON was a joke.....the most unprofessional human I've ever had the misfortune to meet. The director was no better. I found a great facility for mom and she transferred there for a successful rehab stay. I wound up reporting the first place to the Ombudsmen and I left a terrible review on Google. I didn't contact Medicare because Medicare gave them FIVE STAR RATING which was why I chose them to begin with. What a racket.

Get your mother OUT of there right away. Tour other SNFs before making your next selection and speak to the residents who live there about THEIR satisfaction level
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This is a very bad facility. I would report the aides immediately to the Director. These aides should be fired. This type of behavior is unprofessional and disgusting. I would also report this to Elder Abuse. Please take the advice form geaton777, geaton has experience with these organizations. I would also go to the facility you might like, and speak with family members about the care and the staff. You may be able to spend an afternoon checking the place out. You need to make arrangements in advance. I am so sorry your mother was treated so cruel. Do not get discourage, there are some nice places for your mom. Any chance you could bring her home with you temporary? Maybe hire some help from a reputable agency. I would get her out of that place ASAP. You should have reported this immediately after you were informed. Do not delay and do it now, please. My thought and prayers are with you and your dear mother.
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The Director of Nursing is the boss over the RNs and aides. Yes, this kind of care is unacceptable. I would have said something the first time it happened. This aide should not be an aide. If you get nowhere with the DON, then go to the Administrator and inform them you are looking for another facility.

Is Mom there for rehab? If so, two months is a long time for rehab. Yes, 100 days are allowed by Medicare but that doesn't mean she needs to be there that long. If so, take her home. Have her PCP set her up with therapy in the home. Homecare will come and evaluate.

If this is permanent, then I would find her another placement now. After I placed her, I would put a call into your state Ombudsman and tell them about the treatment Mom received, Also, Medicare.

I have my own advocate, my daughter is an RN. I use her when needed.
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Stepdad was in rehab following a hip revision. He has a tendency to get cold and was also incontinent. The first facility he was in was terrible, but recommended by doctors, whom coincidentally or not😉 recently purchased the fAcility.

One night SD had to ask an aid for warmed blankets, several times. Aid lost it and would not give him another dry blanket. Yes, he was moved as soon as I was able to find another place. I told director what had happened and he said something about a few bad apples. 😧

There are good facilities that have "bad apples" and can destroy the reputation of a facility. Definitely, report the incident to see what the response is. Something is very wrong and I would be looking for a different facility.

Check Medicare's website for facility ratings.

https://www.medicare.gov/nursinghomecompare/search.html?
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I'm sorry. I hope that this is just a case of a few bad apples and isn't a reflection of the attitude of the majority. If you are not able to move her then distasteful as it may be your best strategy might be to kiss up to the staff and bribe them into giving a da**... lots of compliments, lots of little treats. Please do document what happened and bring it up formally with the DON, she needs to know what her staff is getting up to when she isn't present.
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kirahfaye avatar
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kirahfaye Sep 2019
No the best thing to do is to talk to the supervisor/manager/owner and if that doesn't resolve it immediately, contact the state elder care division. Kissing up to staff and bribing them is exactly the wrong thing to do.
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What a terrible experience. Shame on the aid and on the admin. My MIL is on Medicaid and in an awesome place. The nurses call me all the time to give updates,; they have been able to coax her out of bed and into the cafeteria when all she wanted to do was stay in bed all day and stare at the tv. The facility is clean and bright and doesn't smell and -- most importantly -- has enough help. My MIL has been in 2 facilities in 3 years, the first very good and this one even better. Both were run by religious organizations (the Moravian Church, and Presbyterian Homes). I've also visited someone at a large Catholic-run community that was very impressive. I think if you can find a place run by a religious org you maybe will have better luck. They see the care as a mission through the lens of compassion. And they are non-profit. Wishing you success in finding a fantastic place for your mom!
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Unfortunately, that's how facilities can be. My grandma was in a facility for a while. I could tell when I saw her in the morning who was working. When it was the good one, she was clean, dressed and sitting in her wheelchair feeding herself. If it was different one, she would be in bed and in need of a change. Sometimes she would be in bed naked without her diaper on and wallowing in urine soaked sheets. I could tell from what was left on her table that she hadn't drank or eaten a thing.

She also went from being a boisterous to being very zombie like in the facility. Very non-responsive, as at times I couldn't wake her even with a sternum rasp. Her vitals were crashing. Because of all this, I brought her home. It took her a while to snap out of it, but now she's back to her old self. Her BP is also back to what would be good for a 20 year old. It's like I had to bring her home to recuperate from the facility.
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JoAnn29 avatar
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JoAnn29 Sep 2019
This is not how facilities are. My Mom was cleaner in the LTC then in the AL she was in. She always had food down her clothes because the AL would not allow bibs. More than once I had to tell an aide Mom needed changing. It was only a 39 resident building. Not once in the LTC did I have to ask for a change. She never had food on her tops. The aides and Nurses were very good to her and to all the residents even the nasty ones.
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