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There is a particular nurse at the rehab facility that my mom it at who is butting into my relationship with my mother. Friday I talked with the nurse, social worker, and physical therapist about plans for my mother, and the cognitive issues that make it extremely unsafe for her to be at home alone. We are working toward placing my mom in assisted living.

Last week, this particular nurse arranged with mom for her to come home for a visit .... without consulting me. This is after a more senior nurse told me they would not make any plans for my mother without consulting me.

Now, it seems that my Mom was telling this same nurse about my plans to place her in assisted living. The nurse told her that I could get one of those alarm necklaces. My Mom calls me, presents this as the perfect solution, and proceeds to get very, very upset with me when I did not accept it as a solution.

The physical therapist says my mother has loss of sensation in her feet that prevents her from knowing whether she is balanced or not, has one leg shorter than the other after partial hip replacement, and her leg on the side of the replacement turns out at angle. Combine that with extreme osteoporosis and dementia that has affected her ability to make decisions regarding safety, we have a recipe for disaster.

Soooooo ... am I right in thinking this nurse is overstepping her boundaries? I am convinced that she means well. What do you guys think? Anyone experienced this?

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Yes, the nurse is overstepping her boundries.... if you choose not to speak directely to her about this, by all means talk to the DON, or who ever else you need to speak to... the fact that your mom is now getting mixed messages is hard on everyone... the point is, your mom is there for rehab, and then to be moved to AL.... this transition is hard enough on your mom with new adjustments to make, much less you having to explain it all again and again to her.... the nurse does not have to get in 'trouble' per se, but does need to honor your wishes... good luck and let us know what you decide...
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Yup. Boundaries overstepped. Please speak to the DON, for all the reasons ladee mentions.
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Ooooo that would make me so mad! Sorry- but it would! I would talk to the director and make sure that that nurse was made to talk with your mom and explain that she made a mistake in recommending the alarm necklace. I would make that nurse tell your Mom she needs to go along with the previous decisions made. And then I would not have that nurse with your Mom again. I am sure she is a nice lady but she needs to know her boundaries and learn from her mistakes. good luck!
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