When you start noticing dementia approaching too quickly, do you take them to the doctor?
My mother in law is 91, but as of 4 months ago, you wouldn't believe it. My once spry and steady MIL (who walked to the mailbox down the lane every day with her "all terrain walker" is now suddenly frail and weak, disheveled and forgetful. She fell and broke her leg back in September, and loved the attention of the nursing staff. After a month in rehab she came back home. All of a sudden she was helpless and wanted me to wait on her hand and foot...but I slowly was able to get her to be more independent. Everything was going fine until about 3 weeks ago. She has changed in appearance, I need to hand her pills to her and watch her closely. She says the iron pills are making her confused. It's like she's given up. She is not the same. She goes to the doctor for regular check ups, but should I take her somewhere else for this new development? Would they even care? They'd probably just say "she's 91, she's supposed to act this way" (yes I've heard that before, seriously) is there anything anyone can do? She has lived with us for about 7 years now, and if it weren't so suddenly that her behavior has changed, I wouldn't be so concerned. She cries alone sometimes, and stares off into space. I feel bad that I don't sit with her all the time, but I just can't do that.
I work at home luckily, oh and my own mom lives with us also. Plus I have a 16 year old son, so I can't devote all my time with my MIL. But I'm always close by in the next room where I can see her. Maybe it's something simple like getting her to a daycare, but after the fall she had, she doesn't get around as well as she did. Her leg healed but it still hurts.
Well this topic got a little rambling...I'm sorry. I guess I just wonder what you all would do, or tell me what I should do.
Maybe the doctors are right, after all she is old, and maybe it just now caught up to her...after the fall.
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Depending on what dr says, he may be able to help. It not UTI, there may be something he can prescribe to lift her mood. Not sure she will return and this could be progression of the disease or just a phase. My mom has dementia and will be 91 next week.
She doesn't live with us and manages independently for now. But she has had these spells where she is really out of it, paranoid, dreamy, stares off into space for hours, sleeps for hours and has no interest in anything but just sitting and staring into space or talking to herself. At first I found alarming, but she does come around after we engage her in an activity and/or keep her actively engaged by bringing in lunch, going for a drive, etc. to get her out and about.
The fall, slow healing, etc. certainly may be contributing to her decline -- most elders don't bounce back as quickly or fully following a big health issue such as fall, injury, hospitalization - so slowly, each incident robs another small piece of their brain/mental health it seems.
See a dr, enlist his help. Consider writing him a letter documenting your observations of her behavior to him in advance of your doctor visit -- or take it with you and hand it too receptionist asking her to add to mom's record so doc can take a glance before he examines mom as a heads up. Thats what I've done, and it made the exam more inclusive and thorough. I also requested extra time when I made the appt for a mental health work up vs just physical.
The EMTs came. One of them made me feel really stupid, said I should have called the doctor instead of calling them. I almost backed down.
But I kept thinking about everything...confusion, vomiting, slight pain in lower abdomen, anemic, etc. Nope. Take her to the hospital.
Turned out she has a bowel obstuction. They put a tube! Through her nose to her intestines, and drained out more bile than I could ever imagine.
She can't eat or drink anything for 2 days. Tomorrow is the last day. The doctors say she won't survive surgery , and my husband won't consent to it. If the tube doesn't work by tomorrow...well, I guess she dies anyway. Holy crap I'm beside myself... I just keep praying the tube straightens out the intestinal kink by tomorrow.
This is my 2nd day without sleep and my eyes hurt and burn as I type from no sleep at all. Here she comes again. I told her I would take her to the doctor if she didn't go to bed and go to sleep and it looks as if that is what I will have to do. I hate to drag her out in the wee hours of the morning in the dark, but I cannot handle her by myself and she is wandering all over the place. If I don't get her confined, she might end up with a broken hip or a fall (which she already had 2 surgeries for brain bleeds from 2 falls before)........Does anyone have a clue what might be going on, UTI or stroke symptoms or anything else? I have to go chase her down again so if anyone has any ideas of what might be going on, any advice will be appreciated. I can see a trip to the ER when I figure out how to get her there. Thanks for any info you can spare!
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