I am 54-years-old and a caregiver, at the rate I am going I will not have anything left when I am older. What can I do to prepare for my future? - AgingCare.com

I am 54-years-old and a caregiver, at the rate I am going I will not have anything left when I am older. What can I do to prepare for my future?

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I am the sold caregiver for my aunt and uncle this include bath, feeding, clothing, cooking, shopping paying there bill and mines nd the list goes on and on. I had quit my job to care for them, i am using my saving to help them. I am 54 yrs old an at the rate i am going i will not have anything left when i am older. i keep help i don't know how to go about getting it, i dont get any rest and am always tired.

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Do your aunt and uncle have any children? Have they given you both durable and medical POA for each of them individually? If not, then who has it? How long have you been doing this? You sound like you are about to crack up which will make you useless to everyone and leave them helpless. What exactly are their health problems and how old are they? Taking care of them is commendable but quitting your job is martyrdom and placing yourself in a position of unreasonable risk for both your present and your future.
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I have no advice. I have empathy. I care for my mother in her home. Its been two and half years since surgery put her in wheelchair. Stayed at her side from the moment they said she may die until today. Putting my entire life on hold. I have a disability income of my own that I have depleted a great deal on her behalf. I didnt mind so much at first. Recently I found out she changed her last wishes from granting me the house as sole owner when she dies and sharing all other things with two other sisters. Neither of whom are ever a part of her care and little in her life at all. Now the house is to be mine as long as I live in it, but if and when I should move it will be sold and divided three ways equally. All the while I am investing my resorces into the home. Time, money, work, social life, etc. You know it all. I suddenly feel stuck and threatened to be without anything of my own when she is no longer here. My sisters may intensify their demands for me to move right away. Even if they dont, I am not investing into my own future. I immediately felt like I want to run from the whole thing. Yet Ive backed myself in financially too. No advice. Just prayer. I face the decision to carry on or make a plan for myself. I feel as if I cant plan fast enough. My empathy to you. My admiration for you willingness to take on the burden in the first place. The demands are greater than a person can realize until they are actually in the position. Blessings
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It sounds like you are at the end of your rope they need to be placed so you can get your life back-medicaide will cover them but you need to get a job so you can support yourself use their money to get the advice of an elder lawyer-you need to take care of yourself-get a job and get into afordable housing where your rent will be based on your wages-get in touch with social services for help for yourself-it is terrible that there is no one helping you.
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That sounds like a very tough situation.

You quit your job to take care of them. How long can you survive without income?

I think that you are absolutely right to try to project where this path is leading. Where will you be 1 year from now? 2 years? etc.

What if they last into their hundreds?

You also need to consider that our current government-paid nursing home system is unsustainable. Meaning that if 20 years from now you need help from the gov, there might not be anything left.

Bottom line is that whether you know it or not, in helping out your relatives as you described, you could be locking yourself into a non-recoverable personal disaster. Maybe you'll decide that it is the right course, but at least you should visualize the most likely consequences.

Finally, "I don't get any rest and am always tired" sounds like you are undermining your health too.

Is there any way to get others to help out during working hours and find another job?
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Check into medicaid for your aunt & uncle. You will need to get their financial info together & talk with an elder attorney.
No point in allowing your life to fall by the wayside in your care of them.
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