Nothing in common anymore with old friends and family, as no one I know is dealing with in home eldercare. Can anybody relate?

MIL's life choices should not dictate yours. I understand you don't want to get her sick, but I'll assume she believes she eon't get sick anyway. At least that's my MIL's attitude. She doesn't want the vaccine as "I don't catch viruses," but she also wants to do everything she always did, including having the whole extended family around. Some of us are less inclined to do that, but in my case at least, it's because I don't want to catch Covid from her, not the other way around.

Go have a social life, take the expected precautions, and what will happen will happen. You've done your part, and the fact that she won't do hers is not your concern.

Can you hire an aid to come in for an evening or over the weekends so you can go out and have a social life? I think if MIL refuses the vaccination, you still get to live your life and that's the risk she has to accept.

If the caregiving arrangement is onerous to you and your spouse, it is not working and needs to be rethunk.

FYI my (then) 85-yr old MIL was in LTC and got original covid in May 2020 and recovered fully. My own 92-yr old mother has had the Pfizer vaccination (almost a year ago) and recently had Omicron and she's fine. It was more like a cold. Both these ladies have no other underlying health or immunity issues, just a higher risk due to advanced years.

Yes! I have the same problem. Sadly, I have no words of wisdom for you as I am still working out whether or not to bother continuing most of my friendships. Coming to this forum helps a bit because it's nice to know that someone somewhere gets it, but I still miss being able to share problems with friends that have similar experiences. I am very curious what other people have to say on this issue.