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Mom tends to get real hostile real quick over certain issues.


Stress she can not handle and that leads to the hostility.


Talking to the TV I've learned to ignore for the most part.


Doctors have said it's just all a part of getting older, not sure which part they're referring to, but okay not confidence building. Mom is rock solid on dates, people & places her issue is she can not deal with Stress, she simply falls apart and it all goes to crap.


The other week she was fine then got news a relative passed and like a light switch she's been out of it ever since, I've spoken to her doctor he agrees it's probably just the stress and to watch her, this morning she has a doctors appointment with the hearing aid doctor and she's been up all night ready to go 10pm she's telling me she's ready again at 11pm then finally at 12:30am she starts demanding I take her home.... We are home.


Mom has been sitting on the edge of her bed all night long just waiting.


The Stress is a major issue if mom goes to a Hospital she losses it, Nursing Home just as bad, home hasn't been an issue until this incident..... I guess I'm looking for suggestions or help on any ideas.

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I knew of a patient who was sent home to receive IV treatments for a bladder infection. When the visiting R.N. came to set up the I.V., the patient (living alone) was at a nearby hotel, did not go home. Of course the neighbors became concerned.
It was less than a month before her family took her to an assisted living to receive the care she was avoiding., including medications. Her home was sold, her belongings ended up in the dumpster because it had to be done quickly by others.

The reason I mention this is you have her at home, and say she loses it in the hospital?
There are alternative treatments now like IV at home, and an R.N. visits.

Realizing that one has done caregiving beyond the familiy's ability to meet those needs is an important decision.

Only you know when that time has arrived.

Best of everything to you! Take some good care of yourself.
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Have you tried going to an urgent care and having her checked for a UTI? (Urinary tract infection). Not just a dip stick test.

In the elderly, bladder infection does not come with the same symptoms as usual, but instead, present with behavioral and personality changes. It has been well known and discussed often o n this forum. So much that I think the experts who know get tired of repeating UTI UTI UTI UTI UTI UTI.

Even if your Mom has mental decline, or dementia, a physical problem could exacerbate the stress reaction. imo.
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madhatter632 May 10, 2019
She went through that recently (January) and had a 4 night stay in the Hospital to treat a UTI not saying that couldn't be the issue again though and to be honest I didn't even think about it getting her to go is another ordeal, she seems to be calming for the moment at this point I'm on watch and if she goes off the deep end between now and Monday I'll do what I can to get her to the ER to be checked.

Thank you I feel like I'm juggling with all her problems at times.
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I had similar experiences with my dad. Dad is now in memory care with dementia. His dementia started about 8 years ago. I though at first his memory problems were just old age but it soon became clear there was dementia involved.

He was still driving back then and would get confused about his doctor appointments. He would insist he had one TODAY and go hop in the car and take off. My poor mother could not convince him the appointment was two weeks away. He did this several times. His docs were pretty nice about it and usually would bring him in for a quick check while the front desk called me or mom.

There could be many things going on with your mom but it sure sounds like early dementia.
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I can relate to what you are experiencing. It's tough when you have concerning behavior and no real answers. I'd feel odd if the doctors just wrote this off to aging too. I'm curious as to what they base that opinion on.....so, I'd likely try to find a doctor who treats seniors and those with behavioral issues, such as a geriatric physician or a geriatric psychiatrist. In the meantime, I'll just tell you what I have observed so far with my LOs.

With one LO, her depression and anxiety cause a lot of odd behavior. One of them involved being "EARLY" to every place she went. She became obsessed with being early and it grew worse and worse. She could not get anywhere early enough. You could not convince her that she was arriving too early. So, she'd arrive for the event, no one would be there and she'd have to wait and wait. All the while complaining that they hadn't set up for the event yet. I'd explain, But, the shower doesn't start until 2:00 and it's 12:00. It really bothered her, but, she couldn't stop it. It became so debilitating that she had to retire from her job. (She was old enough, but, loved her job.) Her other obsessions included, weather and traffic accidents. Her doctors, primary and psychiatrist, recommended meds for anxiety and depression, but, she refuses to take them and suffers.

With LO number 2, I saw some acting out with aggressive and hostile behavior BEFORE there were any memory issues. She also talked to the tv. She would even argue with the tv and yell if she disliked what she saw on tv. LATER, things progressed and she was diagnosed with dementia. (Eventually, the memory does go. It might be okay at first, but, sometimes, it's not just memory involved in dementia, but, poor judgment, personality change. delusions and obsessions). You can get her evaluated, but, I'd keep in mind that the evaluations have their limitations. I'd discuss that with the doctor.
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madhatter632 May 10, 2019
My mother can hit all the questions her doctor ask her pretty much without missing a beat month, year, people in photos, holidays so the doctor has always claimed mom seemed like she had it together, never worried about the TV, a lot of what I'm witnessing is very similar to paranoid delusions.
Now I will say mom has always been a bit on the flaky side with her actions and in my opinion mental stability, she recently went through a phase where she thought everyone was out to get her in some way, shape or form, I worked her through that phase as far as I know.
This was really a light switch moment and I've seen her close to this a few times but usually after high stress situations especially while in the Hospital or the time she went into a Rehab Center at a nursing home, those first few days back in her own home were strange to her and she slowly got back under control, this event has been going on a week now, she got the news about the passing of a relative and that was it she was gone.
Doctors in this area of FL where I live all close up shop at noon on Fridays so my only real option is to watch her and call Monday morning and hope for a speedy callback.
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Is Mom on Medicare? If so, you don't need a doctors approval to go to another. Now her suppliment maybe different. That I would check out.
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madhatter632 May 10, 2019
Mom is on Medicare, I don't want to put her through anymore stress then necessary unless absolutely needed though and her doctor should be able to help us I'm trying to give him the opportunity to make his recommendations, as I said this was one minute before that phone call everything was somewhat normal and then the moment the phone hung up I was looking at a different person, it's like the news just broke her mentally.
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I think its more than stress. Seems she is having a problem with time. And demanding to go home when your there. Stress can cause memory problems but I would have her evaluated for Dementia. I would call this stress more of an anxiety. Hopefully, she is on something for it.
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madhatter632 May 10, 2019
It was literally a light switch affect, she got the news about the relative passing and it's been a downward spiral from that point, I'll be calling her Doctor Monday, this area of FL every Doctor closes up around noon on Fridays.
I was told by one Doctor at the ER it looked like early onset of Parkinson's, the frustrating thing is no matter how many times in the past I've spoken with her Doctor he seems satisfied that everything is okay, I've had to beg and plead to get Doctors in this area of FL to do anything, is this how it is everywhere.?

For today's hearing aid appointment I simply called them and asked if my mother had to be there or if I could bring the hearing aid in without her I was told as long as it doesn't need any adjustments just bring it in so they can test it and clean it and that'll be fine, trying to keep the warranty up on that expensive little thing.
And of course then mom doesn't mind she begins to chill out and wants to ride with me, it's got something to do with being around people or something I'm not seeing, once that stress of the appointment was removed she began to calm down....

Anxiety possibly, but as you stated I need to get her evaluated and I need her Doctors referral to get that done.
Try and call her Doctor again Monday is my only option, unless she gets better between now and then.

Thanks........ needing to vent and try and get answers.
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