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We are taking care of my husband's Mother (87). We were thinking of assisted living but I if she does not want to go she doesn't have to. what are our options.

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Arrange a few tours of nearby facilities. Usually they include lunch with the tour. Just tell her you are going for lunch, don't say where. Some of these places are really nice. Mom met people from high school at hers. One place offered mom a month at half-price, no strings attached. She's been there ever since.
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Hi Tazgreer68, I am familiar with Sulphur Springs, small world. I think if she has dementia and already you don't feel qualified to care for her, that you are making a wise decision to get her settled in Assisted Living. Maybe you already know someone who lives in one. Take mom to visit them often and get to know the facility and even have lunch. Maybe she can find a level of comfort there that will make the transition easier. Be sure before her cognitive level declines to the point where she is unable to know what she's signing, that you or your husband gets the Power of Attorney. It will make it so much easier to make decisions on her behalf as she ages. Oftentimes I say that it's a marathon, not a sprint. She's only 87, there could be many years ahead.
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