I'm not cut out to be a caregiver...I feel like I'm losing my mind. What do I do?
My husband and I took my 61 year old mother in in May after my father died. They had gambled EVERYTHING (their home on the golf course, retirement, pensions, etc. literally everything). They were living in a filthy apartment...and not taking care of themselves. My brother and I tried to intervene many times, but were told to mind our own business and they got to the point that they would only call me if they needed something.
My mother has changed drastically, she is not the person that raised me....she is living here rent free, and refuses to do anything to help out. She has diabetes (I think dementia too)and won't eat unless I make her meals (unless there is junk food in the house). She won't even scrape her platen after meals, she leaves it on the counter food and all for me to deal with. She goes 5 to 6 days without bathing and I have to argue with her about it. Today she smelled of urine so bad that I could smell it across the room and I said something about it, thinking that she'd go change or clean herself up or something, but no...It doesn't bother her in the least. She doesn't care that this is my home, there is no respect for that. Her room is dirty, her bathroom is disgusting to the point that I can't even have company. I'm embarrassed. She wants to go everywhere with me and then when I take her with me, she acts like she's going to drop dead from exertion. I agreed to let her move in to keep her off the streets, I didn't agree to be her full time caregiver.
Yesterday I woke to find her calling for me from the bathroom. She decided to take a bath and couldn't get out of the tub. She was twisted up under the bench I bought her for the shower. My poor husband had to come in an pull her out of the tub. She said that she had an awful night, that she got stuck in the closet and couldn't get out. I have no clue how she got stuck in the closet. Now not only do I have to deal with her every waking hour of my life, I have to worry about her hurting herself at night. I didn't ask for this and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it together. My anxiety level is through the roof.
I want her out of my house and I know that sounds bad. What do I do?