Mom is in NH. Supposedly she had 3 strokes; I have no way of knowing this for a fact. She may have dementia; I have no way of determining this diagnosis. She is definitely mentally ill and has been taking psych drugs for 40 years. But I had to go 2500 miles back to her hometown NH to force her family, the NH and her docs to give her those meds while she was full-blown hallucinating and they said "she is doing that for attention". While I was at home, her POA offered to change her life ins beneficiaries from all 3 of us sibs to just me, in order to "buy me off" so POA can do anything he wants with Mom's estate, implying he can change the life ins benes legally. (It turns out in IN this is true to a degree.) After I force issue about Mom's pysch drugs, POA assaults me. I come back home. After all, Mom is not hallucinating, she is in a nice place, anything I do or ask is construed as very threatening to POA & family. POA eventually recognizes he is legally in over his head with Medicaid & hires an attorney who is "supposedly" repping my Mom for Medicaid application. Lawyer and POA proceed to make decisions that I cannot believe are their right to do, including distribution of gifts. Mom's Lawyer wont talk to me. Mom doesn't know her diagnosis and is being treated by her POA and family in one of two ways...either with so much info she cannot process it, or she is treated like total idiot. Depends on their mood or agenda. When they want to overwhelm her and bully and threaten her, they do so. When they are pious, "working so hard" for her, stressed out, bored, she better be grateful. When she asks questions they threaten to put her in a mental institution. When they put a piece of paper in front of her, she better sign it or they "won't help her anymore". THIS IS TERRIFYING TO BOTH HER AND ME!!!
I can hear you now...hire your own lawyer. Yeah. I hired my own lawyer. He advises me to call POA. I told him POA assaulted me and is not able to anwer my questions, as they parapharase or believe anything they want, when I am looking for actual data. He tells me to call my aunt. (My aunt is unable to effectively communicate data. She did not like the assistant that read the "stroke report" from the "stroke doctor" so "your mother did not really have a stroke".) I asked MY lawyer..what is the mechanism, the legal "document" I could use or you could draw up for my mom to sign that allows me to know her diagnosis. (Mom is not declared incomp.) He says he will call me back. That was 5 days ago. TODAY...I found out MY lawyer had called "Mom's" lawyer, reported everything I said to him, all my concerns: "is this legal, is this the laywers choice, his decision, what is Mom diagnosis, what is a legal mechanism for me to discover my Moms actual medical diagnosis, I would be happy to just see the same piece of paper the NH has", I'm worried POA and Healthcare Representative are incompetent themselves, they cannot effectively communicate data". MY LAWYER knew MOM's LAWYER. Told him everything I said. Mom's lawyer gathers Mom, POA (uncle) & Healthcare Rep (aunt) at NH with Director. Uncle and Aunt inform my mother to tell me to cease and desist or they will withdraw their POA and support and never speak to her again. They told my Mom, who is in a NH, with an unknown diagnosis to me, that they are totally in charge of, they have sold her home, liquidated her assets, threatened and assaulted me, refused to even tell me WHY she is in NH, to be the one to call me and tell me this stuff. Youd think her laywer, my lawyer, or the POA would have done this to spare my mother any further stress over this terrible situation. But no. The very woman they are treating as incompetent, that cannot be responsible for herself in any way, has no say in any of her decisions, her life, or her money, her beneficiaries, her will, is told that SHE has to call me and tell me that if I make one more inquiry, she will be abandoned by the only family she has left. This is POA power.