My Dad died just about 8 months ago, is it normal to still be crying a lot or feeling other mixed emotions?

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His death was very sudden and completely unexpected. It started as any normal day, well the fourth of July, two days before my 19th birthday. As the day went on he never showed any signs that he may be ill at all. Then all of a sudden, while sitting down for cake and such me and my mom found him on my front porch having a seizure which led to him stopping breathing; he came back to me but then his heart gave out and he died on my front porch. Even to this day i find myself crying randomly out of no where or just having a mixed of emotions. He was so young, only 60 years old, and he never got sick.

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My heartfelt sympathy to you. I understand completely how you feel. I lost my father suddenly from a heart attack. He collapsed on the dining room floor on Thanksgiving morning and that was it. Eight months is still so soon and it is absolutely normal that you cry and have all sorts of emotions, it's okay! It was over two years before I could even come to grips with his death. It has been 12 years now and I still miss him, his laugh, his piano playing his smile. I can tell you the pain does lessen and the memories become a real comfort. That isn't to say that I don't still have tough times especially on Thanksgiving. Let yourself grieve for as long as you need to. What I finally decided is that my dad is okay it's the ones left behind that have to trudge on. My uncle said to me on the day of my father's funeral, "death is a part of life, it just happens to be the saddest part." Oh, how true! Again, I'm so very sorry for your loss and know you are not alone!
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It would be strange if you weren't still terribly upset. I'm so sorry for your loss, especially out of the blue like that. Please, give yourself time and be kind to yourself - you are allowed to feel badly hurt.
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If you are in college or tech school, some have reduced fee or free grief counselors who can be really helpful. One of my children found that after his insurance visits run out, the college charges only $5 per and they were really helpful.
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Losing a parent is a tough job at any age. Give yourself time. If you find this is a constant grief, please seek a counselor or perhaps talk to your minister at church. A friend of mind found that when she was constantly crying over her Mom, she decided to just allow herself 15 minutes and then get back to what was going on for the rest of the day. Just a suggestion, hard to turn off our emotions! Your Dad wants you to be happy and I pray soon your memories of him bring you comfort and not sorrow.

I am so sorry for your loss. God bless!
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People around you might get tired of your grief and want you to just get over it, but it's not something you can just get rid of. It's been a long time since I lost my dad, but I kind of think it took me two years before I'd just cry every once in awhile at one memory or another. I don't mean that I cried every day for two years, which probably would be the sign of a true problem, just that it seems that it happened kind of routinely.

So, if you're wondering about this because others are tired of hearing it, there's nothing you can do about that - it's your grief not theirs - it's just that as was suggested, maybe finding other outlets like a grief counselor might be something to consider.

On my end, I did the midwestern thing where we just pretend everything is all right, go about our business, and cry only in private. Different strokes for different folks, I say - it worked for me but it's definitely not for everyone. :-)
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You are so young to see a parent go like this. My deepest sympathies to you. But as you are so young, you will soon see that life will go on. Many young people have suffered much greater losses and continued with productive lives. There are dozens of clichés and plattatudes we use to consol grief. We've all used and heard them, but I would ask you to think about what your father would have wanted for you, extended sorrow and grief or moving on with a young life. Best wishes to you. WR
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So sorry for the loss of your dad and at such a young age for both of you!

You are just a year older than my son's age and your dad was a year older than my husband. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you. ((Hugs to you!))

I lost my dad to brain cancer when I was 50 and my dad was 77. It was kind of sudden too, but not like what you experienced. I lost my dad within 2 1/2 months from diagnosis.

That was four and a half years ago. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and sometimes it seems like a long time ago. And there are days where it still takes my breath away that he is gone from this earth.

In my rambling, I'm trying to reassure you that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Pffft! 8 months is nothing in the grief process. Be gentle to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. What happened in your life is HUGE.

Over four years later, I still think of my dad daily. The tears are down to a monthly thing, basically, and good memories have taken their place.

It's a long process. Please don't beat yourself up about how you are "supposed" to be at this point. The grief is still fresh and will be for quite awhile. Crying is good stress relief and is very normal. It's going to hit hard on anniversaries like his birthday, death, etc. Those are hard days. Just plan to give yourself some slack those days. You deserve it because you had a big loss.

Sending you good thoughts,

windytown
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First let me say I am so sorry for your loss. Its one thing to lose a loved one when they are very old or sick cause then it is sort of expected. But to lose someone suddenly as you did, I cannot imagine what you are going through.

Eight months is not a long time at all to be grieving. Grief is very personal. There is no set time line where its not okay to still be grieving. If you have loved someone dearly you will always have an empty space in your heart.

If you need to talk to someone there are grief counselors out there where you can release some of the emotion you are feeling. People on this site are very kind and understanding and have been where you are. You will get some solace just from that. Don't be hard on yourself. God Bless.
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