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Even if they have Parkinson's? Feeling guilty. My Mom gives me a hard time she doesn't want to have showers may I say more it turns into a battle. We were bickering yesterday than we both said sorry and started crying but I still feel really bad.

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This is sneaky, but give her a Benadryl (diphenhydramine) an hour before the shower. Or a sip of wine. Your pick.
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We all feel the way you do.. These things need to get done, often leading to anxiety for both of you..

You need to give up the guilt trip and KNOW you are caring for your Mom the best you can..

Be grateful you got "I'm sorry" from Mom, most of here never get one..

Hugs to you!! Keep loving and respecting her she needs your support..
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Geez...how familiar this sounds. It is a constant battle over everything in my house. Baths, hair washing, medicine, eating, you name it we battle over it and I wind up angry and frustrated beyond all reason. If I say it's time for a sponge bath (because she will not get in the tub) she "feels sick". If I'm making dinner she's hungry NOW, feed me! If I ask if she's hungry the answer is no and then 15 minutes to a half hour later she accuses me of starving her. She can't use a walker because it's "too hard" but then falls down. She says her meds make her sick but then wants more to ease the sickness. Questions what time do I get my next meds...every 15 minutes. Says she can't remember but when I tell her something happened she says no it didn't because she doesn't remember it. I tried interviewing companies to come in during the day when I'm at work and she throws them out. But then says she's lonely and wants someone to sit with her during the day. It just goes on and on and on. Always accusing me being mean to her and trying to "get rid" of her. And then turns around and says she doesn't know what she would do without me. I have had to leave the house and go for a drive just to maintain my cool. But sometimes I do flare up at her and then feel guilty for it. I have seriously considered putting her in a nursing home just because she will not comply with anything I ask of her. I always feel like she is "playing" me.
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Hey my Mom just accused me of taking her pocketbook and putting clothes in the draw that belong to someone else. She's pissed at me.. So I found pocketbook told her clothes belong to her and walked away before I said something I will regret!!

We're all in the same boat...LOL
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Thanks everyone your all a great help I really appreciate all your input especially the Benadryl lol
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I have the same problem I'm always arguing with my dad about something or another. I get so angry at him and don't know how to deal with it. I have taking care of my 76 year old dad for almost 7 years and it's getting real bad he's getting mean accuses my 4 year old grandson that he stole money his cell phone etc and has told my single daughter if 2 that she is not a good mother with that I flew off the handle had to walk away I was so mad and people just tell me he don't know what he's doing or saying I call BS on that because after my daughter left he started in on me about my daughter and that was an hour or so later.
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I guess walking away and gathering your thoughts is best ,but some times the arguments are unavoidable.Crying is normal .So is apologizing.Until next time..
This will re-occur, so just hang in there and do what you can to get her to do her cares.I had patients who always said no when asked to take a shower or a bath no matter what the circumstances..a battle of wills occurred over and over.Sometimes I won sometimes not so much..I learned to just go with the flow and "test the water" before even asking..good luck and hang in there
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Oh that is horrible Cryingeyes So sorry to hear that he is being mean to you and your family. Does he have dementia?
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My sister has issues with my Dad along these lines, she is with him the majority of the time (I am with him when I can as my husband is 100% disabled as well). I don't seem to have the same issues with my Dad, yeah sure he gets angry and irritated..but I just cannot let it interfere with the fact that he doesn't have that much time left on this planet, every day I get to spend with him is precious. I will take whatever time I get and make it all ok.
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Well since I have been getting into arguments with my mother since I was seven, for me it would be normal. And if she ever said that she was sorry about something, I might have a heart attack from pure shock.
Happens all the time in the nursing homes and believe me, the staff doesn't have time to waste, so they just shove them into the shower whether they want it or not (which is what I remind my mother when she talks about how great living in a nursing home would be!)
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