I just became caregiver for my 85 year old father after the doctor DEMANDED that he not live alone anymore.
My father and I have never had the greatest relationship. Though I love him (more because I'm SUPPOSED to), he's Narcissistic (confirmed by professional) and grumpy, and demanding, and ... MEAN. He has run off all of his ex wives and other children - 13 to be exact, yet for some reason, I got stuck with caring for him.
This is the first week, and it had been tough. Between him screaming at me for taking him from his home, and holding him hostage in mine or taking him from the toxic "friend" that was taking money out of his bank account and stealing from him and being called selfish. I am DONE!
I spent my whole childhood taking care of him (he's been legally blind since I was born), and I finally had found the courage to start living for myself. Though I have lived 1.5 hours away from him for 10+ years, I had finally made peace with the fact that it was OK to not want to spend extended time with an old ungrateful grump and had reduced my visits to 3 a year.
My life was just starting to make sense. On the verge of moving in with the most wonderful man I've ever met and starting my own law practice.... things were good. Then BAM!!!! His COPD and Congestive Heart Failure got the best of him.
So... not being cruel and put him in a home, I did what was best for me...moved him to my city. Since then I've been called names (by him and the LOCAL relatives that didn't want to accept the responsibility) and I've just been so ANGRY!!!
I didn't tell the man to smoke himself to oblivion, and now he's suggesting that I move back home where HE's comfortable. Whining: What about me?!?!?!
I'm sure it's very hard to lose independence and be sick, but I feel like he brought this on himself. If he hadn't pushed everyone in his life away (he really is MEAN), more people may have stepped up to the plate to help him!
AAAAARRRRRRGH!!!! I didn't ask for this, and the more he gripes about my house being too fancy or too hot or too cold or me being fat (at 121 pounds) or not cleaning the house properly or wanting to go home, I just get furious.
Then I feel like this terrible person for being angry.
Is this normal?
Sorry about the rant...