Is it normal for someone (89) to be disoriented in the ICU?

Yes. The pain meds can cause extreme disorientation and situations like you described. It's very frightening for you and her.
I would try to find out what she was given and if she has eaten and then see if there are alternatives to try. It happened to my mother in ICU. When the meds were adjusted the mental confusion was gone. It's difficult to get staff to understand sometimes because they don't realize your mom is not normally confused. I would Insist they not give her more until I could speak with the dr. I suppose it might be necessary for her to be on stronger meds depending on the pain she is in. My mother would rather hurt than be confused. I hope you are able to help her.

Just called moms nurse. She is off the narcotics and becoming clearer.
She thinks mom just needs a little moretime and she will be fine.
I wish I didnt have negativity so deeply ingrained in me. It's making this time with mom in hospital so much harder. Its not just the confusion. Its everything.

Barbara

Barbara, will she be going to rehab when she is released?

She should. But I'm almost 100 percent she will refuse.

Barbara

There's also a phenomenon called ICU psychosis. One of the nurses told me about it when my father was in ICU once.

Hadnuff, it is common in almost all elder cases when the elder is in a hospital and also when going to rehab. It can happen to 30% of young people after surgery.

It's being someplace they are not familiar with.... new faces with each new shift.... being awaken at 5 a.m. for a pill or to draw blood.... all the new noises... and the different smells. Most elders get delirium, which doesn't go away until a couple days being back home.

If Mom goes into rehab, the same thing will happen again, but eventually she will get use to her surroundings.... I hope she agrees to go, it would be in her best interest. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and her.

Barbara, you make darn sure the discharge planners at the hospital know about your mother's living conditions...like the lack of a sink in her bathroom, the fact that your brother won't pick up meds for her and that neither of them will answer the phone. Make it abundently clear to discharge that you are not going to be around setting up rehab therapists, and that your own health is taking priority right now. I wouldn't be above breaking down and sobbing, just to make it clear how draining and impossible handling your mother has become. Don't whine...CRY!

Barbara, I have first-hand, intimate experience with ICU psychosis. I was 58 when I was in ICU for a few days. I hallucinated. I obsessed. I had delusions. I cried an entire afternoon. I tore the automated blood pressure cuff off my arm. This lasted even after I went to a regular room, and in fact for a few days after I got home.

If the medical staff thinks she will be fine, she most likely will be. Give her a little more time.

And I agree with Babalou -- make it clear that Mom is not really safe at home. And that YOU ARE NOT CAREGIVING AT THIS TIME.

Jeannie I can second your experiences in ICU and the PTSD that followed

Hubby had a liver transplant and spent a day in ICU. He was delusional, angry, combative and pretty much NOT himself. ICU is a terrible place to wake up in--it's not a place most people have even SEEN prior to being in one. They had to restrain my hubby, which made him madder, but he was full of tubes and IV's--it was hard to see, and he was mad at ME too, for ALLOWING this---the drs sent me home and said "We'll call you when he's out". 10 years later he's still mad at me for not staying with him. (Not allowed).

And yes, he had terrible PTSD from the ventilator tube. He couldn't drink out of a bottle with a smaller opening (such as juice or pop) for years.

Afterwards he did suffer a lot from anxiety attacks and depression, but I think that was the outcome from the transplant and the trauma it involved.

MidKid, I think your husband's limited drinking ability after being on a vent was more likely from the effect on the swallowing muscles than from PTSD. Did he get any speech therapy afterwards? It might have helped his swallowing muscles regain their flexibility.

BARBARA how is your mom doing? How are you?

Garden Artist--
He was fine once he was off the vent. He could swallow and talk just fine (never STOPPED talking :) It was the trauma of not being "in control" that got to him. They keep them in a state of semi-consciousness after a long surgery like that (20 hours) and he was only sort of aware of what was going on, but he's big (6'5" and 280 lbs) so someone that size trying to fight off the vent, the tubes, etc., I know they took good care of him and all--like I said, he did develop this phobia and he finally got over it, but it was years.

My son was in the ICU after brain surgery. This time I was allowed to stay with him. He was 21--but he wasn't on a vent, just semi paralyzed for a few days. ICU's are just scary, not-fun places to be. I DO wish they had educated my hubby better--he did not know he'd wake up there and be on a vent. He's a control freak and this was very scary.

MidKid, I totally understand your explanation, and appreciate your offering it. Being on a vent and unable to talk can terrorize anyone. It's such a feeling of helplessness.