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Very new to this process. Husband is in late stages of dementia, but can walk and feed himself. Went to a local personal care home (also has dementia wing.) Tour included a verbal quote of $3,250 a month. I went back 5 days later to get forms to be filled out by the doctor and myself and was quoted $3,500, for a semi-private room. A private room quote was $3,850! I repeatedly mentioned this was for a 30 day respite care. If it worked out would consider keeping my husband in the facility. I put $1,000 down to hold a room once one became available. Now, I am wondering if this is what I should be doing and if this home is honest or is this typical. I have been given nothing to sign, only a brochure outlining the facility. No rates in writing either. Perhaps it is me. Am I getting cold feet? What should I do at this point? Husband is home with me but I need a break after 10 years of caregiving by myself. I'm a nervous wreck. Thank you for any help or advice.

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Egg-cellent answers from all responders. As a housing specialist the numbers quoted to you are pretty much on target. They may have quoted you a respite base price and categorized him as needing extra care. Ask, ask, ask!!! Ask for a written 30 day quote. Tell them to itemize all costs. Look at the list they make and make sure everything he will need is listed and take off anything he will not need. Negotiate during the respite time. The will want to be up front and flexible (negotiable) during this time if they want him as a resident in the future. Do as many respites as you can before making a long term commitment. Look at your itemized bills for each stay and compare. Take someone with you too. Two sets of ears and eyes are better than one. Hope that helps.
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I wouldn't blame you for feeling anxious about a place that isn't upfront about costs, you have to wonder what else they are not being honest about. Staffing ratios? The availability of RNs vs less highly trained care? How often does the doctor really come to the facility?
I think a few weeks respite stay is a good way to get the measure of a place without committing to anything long term!
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Thanks cwillie: I was told by one of the owners while on tour that EVERYTHING was included except a $25 cable monthly fee. I specifically asked about meds, bathing, room cleaning, laundry, etc. However, you are correct about extra fees from what I have been told regarding most care facilities. They tack on fees for everything except breathing. I'm just very apprehensive to be quoted 3 different rates within less than a week. Since this is a new path for me, I don't want to fall off a cliff at the end being whacked with an outrageous bill. Thanks again. Your response means the world to me.
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Ask them about their fee scale for extras, usually there is a base rate plus additional charges for services. The increase is likely due to his needing assistance with medications or bathing.
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