We moved my mom into a nursing home and ever since then the staff has been constantly calling me to ask questions about her care. Is it normal for them to be constantly calling me? - AgingCare.com

We moved my mom into a nursing home and ever since then the staff has been constantly calling me to ask questions about her care. Is it normal for them to be constantly calling me?

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Since her recent move, the staff calls me constantly to ask me something or tell me that my mother is unhappy. Tonight, they called me to ask me how they can get my mother to sit up straighter in her recliner. They said she didn't look comfortable, and wanted me to tell them how to get her to sit up straighter. I didn't really know what to say...I said maybe ask her if she needed a pillow behind her back or something.

Is it normal for the staff to be constantly calling like this? Or should I talk to the nursing director about it? I don't mind a call if something is wrong, but how do they expect me to answer a question like the one above?

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You said this was a recent move. Once they learn what is 'normal' behavior for your mom they will most likely call you a lot less.
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I think they are trying to be conscientious about learning your Mom's likes and dislikes. If, after they have had time to get to know her, the calls continue about relatively minor things, you may want to ask the staff about it. In the meantime I would chalk it up to them wanting to make your Mom as comfortable as possible in the manner that she is most accustomed and in the way that you would have done for her. I don't see this as an awful thing at all......
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Nursing homes are dammed if they do-dammed if they don't !!!
Give them a break, they need to know about the likes and dislikes about new arrivals, how their use to doing things, hobbies-reading and on.
Why is it a bother to inform them? Seems to me, all should be happy about their concern.
I took the few minutes to let them know Moms history and was glad I did--made it much easier on all concerned and of course much easier on Mom.
I get calls if her meds are changed or if she fell, no calls about her eating-sitting or stuff like that, they know.
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NP you should be happy there are no phone calls, when you are there do you notice any problems or complaint from your relative?

Marty, I would talk to someone in management about this, I would be frantic if they called all for it to boil down to sitting in a recliner. Go figure....are they new?
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Get her out of there. It is not professional to call the family home and ask about caregiving. Find another Nursing Home.
No matter where she goes, she will need your involvement. Don't abandon your duties.
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This is absurd and I would be concerned about the type of care your Mom is getting. These people should be professionals and have suggestions and tips for us not the other way around. After you talk with social services, physical therapy or the nursing director - if these calls continue, think about moving your mom. Seriously, if they can't figure it out then they have no business dealing with elderly and sick people!
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With 30 years experiance in Long Term Care as a DON and Licensed Nursing home administrator, Any new admit has an adjustment period to the facility. If after a couple of weeks there become major issues, often the family appears shocked becouse they thought everything was fine. and if no one tells them, of course they think there is no problem. The facility is also required by law to notify the family of any change in condition.They are just trying to document the adjustment and that you have been informed of the events. It may seem petty but it beats all hell out of being kept in the dark.
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Calling about pillow placement does seem over the top. I would think they would call family for the important matters, but this could simply be solved by talking to another worker or nurse I'd think! My mom too, is now in a nursing home...It has been 1 month. The staff is mostly very good, especially the nurses. If there is a question they usually talk to me when I come in (almost daily). But in a month there have only been 2-3 questions come up. Let things settle as you said and perhaps this will be resolved. I agree that it is a very difficult time...mom was living with my family and I was her caretaker for almost 2 years, but it became too difficult on many levels. At least I am not as stressed and I know she is being well cared for. But I miss her even though I see her most days! It is hard to let go and let others care for her.
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This is such a stressful time and this must just be adding to it for you. However, I'm having the opposite problem. I just put my Mom in one a week ago, and I feel almost like she's gone out-of-state to college (lack of control what's going on) even though I have been visiting daily. I wish they would ask me more about her routine/likes/dislikes. It's a really well-run place, but even though I've told them to call anytime with questions/concerns, they don't. She has issues especially at night and while I can't run over there to calm her down, at the Assisted Living place she just left, they would put her on the phone and I could usually do it in a matter of minutes. There has got to be a happy medium between being called too much and not at all. This is just hard stuff to deal with all the way around!
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When my Mom first went into a nursing home, I told them about her likes and dislikes-her eating habits, personality.
Try that, maybe it will help them, sometimes the small things help the staff to aid your Mom.
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