All my mother does is sleep all day and night. Is this normal?

My mom is 87. The only thing she ever really enjoyed was shopping, ordering clothing, eating out, which she did every day when she was on her own.
She now has dementia and since I cannot do those activities with her as often as she was used to doing them, she sleeps a lot. Those activities were kind of her life. That's what she loved. Plus she constantly talks of the past; does not live there mentally at all, cognizant that way, but talks of little else. She is very sociable and people-loving, but Grand kids don't want to hear the same stuff over and over and over; she can't follow a conversation of any other kind very well. Now she sleeps a lot because the things she really loved to do are no longer present as much. Other stuff doesn't hold her attention as well. I wake her up all the time and try to get her to do something because I think it is bad for them to sleep too much.

Same here with my 94 years old. She says she's tired. She does not seem to have the energy to startan activity of her own. She's still very bright and when we play cards, she counts every body's point at speed light. She is no longer interested in the news, movies, reading. She goes to a elderly center 6 hres, 3X per week and she loves it. When the tall gentleman come to the door to watch her step up to the sidewalk for the bus, she clucks like a hen because she loves the attention. She needs so much attention! My sister says she's like a baby. She can't plan, can no longer make her suitcase. When we visit, she just wants to play cards. If we don't, she goes to bed. She seems to be on a stand-by and float in confusion. Next week, I am going to spend a week with her, and she is all excited. I love to be with her, but by herself, the curtains fall: no play. Is this a form of dementia?

I just found out my sister who is a Doctor has put my 91 year Mother, who was skyping with me last month on anti depressants. I went to see her last week. My sister is a Doctor as well as a pathological liar and maybe even a sociopath. She is basically nullifying my Mothers life. She only wants her money. She's a monster like a lot of other Doctors. Doctors think they are GOD and when they want to they reserve treatment, particularly if your on Medicare. They will string a patient along who has money. My older sister told me this am tht my Mother was bleeding from somewhere but they didn't know where. They won't bother to find out either. They are just letting her bleed out like a spring lamb with it's throat cut and my sister is a part of it. 91 is the new 80...there is absolutely nothing else wrong with my Mother. This is happening in a very conservative and far right state and city. It is frightening to think my own siter is apart of this deception and murder, but she is and there is nothing i can do about it. The very same thing happened to an older woman who used to live by me...she was 91 also and her kids were MD's also...they blatently told me she was bleeding out in her head and they were letting her go. I can't stomach it...it's murder to me. I'm telling u this so u r forwarned how the medical community is helping to decrease the poulation and they are the judges who lives and dies;who gets tests etc. Do you believe Bill Gates will be "let go" when he is 91 with a bleeder. Guess what, it's a simple procedure to fix. Older people have value!

After reading these posts, I see my own situation over and over. My 91 year old mom has lived with me and my husband for two years. She was in independent living but she has normal pressure hydrocephalus and she has dementia and incontinence that seems to be getting worse. Until recently, I had a companion coming in Monday through Friday (I work full time) to keep my mom company, keep her cleaned up and take her outside (she can walk for a bit with her walker but then she rides in a wheelchair around the neighborhood. I give my mom breakfast before I leave for work, but for some reason, she is now going back to her room to take a nap after breakfast. I stopped paying to have the companion come because mom is mostly sleeping while she is here. Mom got quite upset about this because she really likes this woman but doesn't want to give up her nap so we can have her come again. Mom sleeps to 4 pm or so and then gets up and eats the sandwich I left on the table for her before I get home from work. Then, she too full for dinner. So, now I am back doing everything for mom again and it's wearing me out. She's not on Medicaid so there are not many services available to her. Plus I would have to take off work to have someone come, and quite honestly, most of those people are just not worth it. We had home PT after mom fractured her knee in a fall and I told them they had to be here at a specific time when her companion was here, but they came whenever they wanted to and towards the end, only stayed half the time they should have. My mom wants to die (refuses to take medication) and she has been so hateful to all of the family members that no one even calls or comes by anymore. Says she can't help herself. She's ugly to me and my husband too. She's mean and makes comments that are not even true. It's next to impossible to get her up and dressed for any outing or drs appointment. I have to take the whole day off. She can't read anymore because of poor vision and can't even work a simple tv remote without messing it up 50% of the time. I come home from work and she wants me to be her company. The companion did take mom to the senior center (another huge ordeal) but after going twice, mom refuses to go because it's depressing because there are a bunch of old people there. I don't know what to do about the sleeping all day. I'm at work so I can't stop her and even on the weekends when I try to keep her up, she just looks at me and heads to her bed. She also goes to bed early and then wakes up between 4 - 5 in the morning. I don't know what to do to get her to change her routine so that she can have company again.

My husband sleep all day and night. He was getting up all night. But now he's not doing that. He's 77 this man want get up to eat. I'm thinking about putting him an nurse home for 3 weeks, just maybe that can get him moving againe

My MIL just got out of the hospital with a UTI and an enlarged kidney and kidney disease. She has lived with us for 10 years, is 94 with Alzheimers also. Up until about 6 months ago, she would do puzzles and watch her programs, but now all she wants to do is crawl into her bed and sleep. Before that, she would just sleep in her lazyboy chair. She is eating less and less. I am wondering if these are signs of end of life. She enjoys going to senior daycare 3x a week, but the nurse there says she sleeps a lot there too,

My mother just moved in with me after being put out of assisted living due to being a fall risk. All she wants to do is sleep. It is very concerning. I am sure part of it is depression due to the change in living arrangements. I am going to call her dr Monday to see about getting her on an anti-depressant. Very disconcerting.

My mom will be 94 in November. She is sleeping about 18 hours each day. She does only "fill-it-in" puzzles, watch old t.v. shows, eat breakfast, lunch, dinner. Her incontinence has increased over the past 6 months. She has mild dementia, and we have a caregiver come once each week to help me give her a good shower. She is generally disinterested in things. I don't know what else to do. When she was living in assisted care, she would eat breakfast in her room, go to the d.r. for other meals but then stayed in her room with curtains/blinds closed and just nap. I have found that she simply wants to sleep. Any ideas? Is this really okay?

My mom has lived with me for about 6 months now. Mild dementia and advanced rheumatoid. Wants to sleep all the time. Her doctor mentioned sleeping during the day will lead to weaker bones, poor balance, which creates a bad cycle of inactivity both mentally and physically. Here's one thing I noticed. When I take her out with me to run errands, eat lunch, visit her friends, etc. She's up all day no problem. It's like she needs a cruise ship activity coordinator to keep her active and engaged. It's difficult to be that person every day but it's clear to me, that if she's engaged, she can stay awake. If I leave her alone, she will tend to want to sleep.

my 92 yo mother would start falling asleep in a chair as soon as 45 mins after breakfast..i would wake her all day long so she will sleep more at night instead of waking us at ungody hrs for breakfast…i sent her to a senior daycare from 8 -1 all last week…though i did catch her asleep in a chair there once its far better to get her out of the house if possible with people her age…its a loud hopping place with loads of activities..i am using her SS check to pay for it..i wish her check was bigger as whats left after covering her supplemental ins. will only be enough for 2 or 3 days a week..i sent her for the full week to see how she would do and she did just fine…and i had some alone time in my own home which i have sorely missed

My mom is 94 and she too spends a lot of time in bed. She says "I feel good in bed!". She may have a mild dementia, that is memory problems, low interest, don't initiate much. She likes music but does not put any CD. Like Ruemando's mother, she would be much more active if she had her own personal trainer.
I tend to think "Fine! You like to be in bed; be in bed. I just want you to be happy." When I spend a week with her, I sew and do projects; she likes me to show her my progress regularly. She is a very nice mom. I love her so much.
I told her "playing cards between 7:00 and 9:00 pm is enough for me, OK?" She goes to a center 3 days /week from 9:00 to 3:00.
But those doctors pile guilt and worries on me when they claim that sleeping during the day will lead to weaker bones, poor balance, creating a bad cycle of inactivity both mentally and physically. When I tell her that, she says "I'm the one who is 94. I do what a 94 years old body can do."
What is the real problem here? Has being active become a must, the only way of living? Some people meditate and it's OK. Why can't old people enjoy taking it easy in bed? Why do we immediately fear depression?
What if our old parents were allowed to relax in bed, do a 5 minutes of stretching exercises before each meal and do as they please?
A contact with people every day, family visiting every Saturday and Sunday, and the rest, - well -, weaker bones and poor balance is what getting older and older do to our bodies. Are we supposed to die on the treadmill?
When I ask my mom, it goes nowhere. She just wants to be nice to me; discussing a point is no longer important for her. It's like all she wants is hearing our voices, smiling back, hugs. Between visits, she just waits for the next one. Time has a different meaning for her than for us. I have things to do, but she doesn't; I have energy, she doesn't. It seems to make all the difference in our respective world.

When my parents [in their 90's] visit me for a holiday, or like today Mother's Day, they will sit in front of the TV to watch golf and doze off.... then we will eat dinner.... after dinner they will go back to the TV to finish watching golf and doze off. In fact, I am glad they are napping so I can catch a few winks myself and not feel like I am being rude to my company ;)

Think about it, 90 some years is a long time.... they are tired.... they had a great busy life and deserve some shut eye. My parents still maintain their single family home, rake leaves, do the laundry, do the house cleaning, Dad fixes things, etc.... so when I find them asleep when I bring in the groceries, so be it.

Let's not over think this.

My Dad also sleeps a lot during the day because he can't stay asleep at night (or so he says; I am sleeping, so I can't tell). My problem is that he lost part of his leg years ago and can't walk very well, so he can't do his main hobby which was gardening. His other hobby was watching t.v. I guess I could try puzzles, etc. but he never did that kind of thing before. I'm thinking maybe getting a caregiver who can get him talking and maybe stay awake longer. A big part of the problem is that he is getting old and can't do things anymore.

To Nursebetty56
Does your Dad have a wheelchair?
I'm asking this because I made myself a little garden of herb in a elevated sandbox I recuperated from an old daycare. It's 3 feet high, and the box is 3'X3' and 10" high. It's made of oak and is beautiful. I spread a thick plastic at the bottom and sides not to destroy the wood. I added four 3" wheels. Wow! This garden rolls like a Cadillac. I don't know what I am going to do this winter though; it's on the porch.
Maybe your Dad would have fun with something like that. But maybe his gardening days are over.
My father could not care less about puzzles and this sort of things. He liked listening to the radio. However, I think old people get less and less interested in movies, radio, good programs on TV. They don't feel like they can make a difference anymore, I guess; so, they are less and less part of this world.
We live so long, don't you think? I mean we ALL live much longer; not only the ones who have the constitution of an ox. These ones didn't sleep all day; they were just still working. To the end, like a horse.
But now, our medication keep us going, and going, but not packed with "natural" energy; just enough to maintain the body working.
I don't know. Getting old is no longer working to the end, or being store in the corner. Old age has a status now: we're too many getting there! We see our parents getting very old in a very different way than the past generation. We didn't learn that. And it's not easy knowing what they want, what they think and what they feel. They don't say!
I would so much press my mother for answers, but all she really would like is that my husband and I come to live with her. And life would be like in her old days, with the baby in his playpen in the middle of the kitchen while busy mothers prepare the meal, do laundry and supervise homework of the older kids, around the kitchen table. "Mom", I tell her, "it can't be like that anymore. We have to run to the doctor at the tiniest discomfort. You could make a rosary with your pills. Nothing is simple anymore. We depend on specialist and professionals. I am one in my job and you need one for your needs."

My 81 year old mother wakes up all hours of the night. She is just mobile enough to be a danger to herself. We need our sleep and can't get up multiple times a night. Any suggestions. We can't afford a sitter at night. We have one during the day.

My mum in-law is 93 she is very down in the dumps she lives in a warden assisted complex she has her own flat all she does is sit in her chair and flip through the tv channels finding game shows that are repeats so has seen them time and time again she used to go down to bingo 3 times a week but cannot she has very little to eat and drink and is now dehydrated badly we keep encouraging her to eat and drink more but feel I am on a loosing battle with her she will not go to hospital she is adamant about this has anyone else had to deal with this and cand give some advise to hospital which the doctor advised

my mother is 86 years old and all she does is sleep day and night and now is is getting delirious in a very serious way seeing raccoons in her room busting things and birds flying about hearing noises etc. we try to calm her down but it is very difficult she calls us constantly for no apparent reason every 10 - 15 minutes or so it is all so hard to deal with her dr. knows she is hallucinating a lot but is nothing her offers to do short of admitting her to a nursing home, we are at wits end, does any body have any suggestions on this issue.

Hubby is 76 and doctors say in good health. But he sleeps 7 to 8 hrs. a night and then sleeps during the morning in his recliner - gets up to go to a restaurant for lunch - and heads straight to the recliner till 4 or 5 pm - then up to eat dinner and naps again in the evening. Says his nighttime sleeping is not good, but is that because he sleeps so much during the day and has his circadian rhythm all mess up? I thought that only happened in animals. FL. doctor gave him a B-12 shot - only worked days. Indiana doctor doesn't believe in them, so I bought OTC B-12 (1000 mcg) and they don't help. He is fatigued all the time and yet says he feels pretty good. If someone talks to him and makes it a long story, he closes his eyes - it's embarrassing. Would Melatonin help ? He had a CBC in January in Florida and it turned out good. HELP??

If one thinks about the physiology of an aging body its not so surprising that many elders sleep so much more. For most their bodies are failing. Many can't see or hear well anymore so that makes it difficult to interact. Many have dementia and other brain disorders that make it difficult to understand the world around them. Many have organs that are failing, for example their lungs that make it harder for them to breathe, thus making it harder to be active. Many have joints that no longer move easily and are very painful.
The human body is meant for only so many years, eventually it just wears out.
May be sleeping more is just natures way of making those final years easier.
If you've ruled out depression or boredom etc. then maybe it's time to be at peace with their sleeping so much. At least they aren't suffering.

my mother is 83 and has parkinsons with mild dementia she is now in respite for a while but my sister says she can no longer look after herself, i disagree with her. she helps look after mum as i live miles away and can only see mum at weekends

do you think mum should come home or stay in a care home where she is looked after 24hrs per day also I noticed that people in the home are a lot worse than she is. I would prefer her to spend the rest of her days in familiar surroundings

Can you relocate to where you live closer and can give your sister a LOT more help? People who don't do 24 hour caregiving do not understand exactly how draining it is. Emotionally and physically. It's nice that you can see Mum on weekends, but do you give your sister a break when you're there, or are you just visiting?

If you're not able to contribute at the very least 50% of your mother's care, then I wouldn't fight your sister's idea to place her in a care home.

I have noticed that the adult child who lives far off sees things differently than the adult child who is actually doing the care giving.

Your sister is probably very drained and realistic about what she as one person can continue to do. Your sister needs some compassion not sibling fighting.

Who has the durable and medical POA for mom?

puntacana2014, you say "I would prefer her to spend the rest of her days in familiar surroundings." I can certainly understand that and I don't blame you. But practicalities have to be faced. Basically, it sounds like you would like your sister to continue taking care of your mother. But sister says this is getting to be beyond her limits.

So what are the reasonable options. Should mother come home? Do you mean to her own home, or your sister's home, or your home? Sister says she can no longer look after herself. You disagree. But why would sister lie about this? Persons with Parkinson's Disease with Dementia (PDD) get worse. It varies by individual a lot, but generally speaking PDD often advances faster than ALZ does. So even if mother can take care of most of her needs now, that may not last long at all. As dementia advances it becomes impossible for the person who has it to live alone. She might continue to live at home, if someone lives with her. (My husband lived at home with me.) Who do you propose that someone should be? Sister has already opted out. Can Mom afford around-the-clock in-home care? Can you take some of the shifts?

Staying in familiar surroundings definitely does have benefits. But being in an environment where there is mild stimulation and lots of activities and trained oversight has a lot of benefits, too.

Is there only one home being considered now? Are there other possibilities in the area?

My wife is 77years old and has had Alzheimers for 13 years. yesterday she would not stay awake and was put to bed at 11.30 am. She was still asleep at 7am in the morning. we woke her and fed and toileted her. Once in her chair she fell asleep yet again.At 12noon we woke her again for the toilet and lunch, she fell asleep on the toilet, and we failed to give her all her lunch. DD mudroch.

When living in Zambia it was thought my wife had Alzheimer's this was 13 years ago. She flew to the UK and it was confirmed she had Alzheimers. For the next few years she returned to the Uk for further testing. We returned tothe Uk in 2010 and now she no longer walks, or talkes.,and must be toileted. Carers come 4times a day.DD Murdoch

I am experiencing the same thing with my 94 year-old mother who is visiting me for a couple of months. Other than dementia, she is not ill and is not on any medication. She has good days when she'll get up by herself and bad days when she can sleep day and night for a couple of days. On the bad days, I force her to get up so I can give her food and beverages (and change wet bedding), but she is very weak and disoriented on the days I force her out of bed. It concerned me to the point that I called the paramedics the first time this happened. She was evaluated in the hospital and released after nothing was found to be wrong with her. It's difficult to deal with, and I am determined not to panic again! The best I can do is interact with her lovingly on the good days, and let her rest without being disturbed more than necessary on the bad days.

My mother is 62 and all she does is sleep but she doesn't want to live her life the way and the times when she should be sleeping she cant, which is usually throughout the night. She has thyroid disease, adhd, depression, sleep apnea (doesn't waer her mask), congestive heart failue, fibromyalgia therefore she is on alot of different medications that could be causing this. She will feel fine and then within minutes she hangs her head and is asleep. Sometimes this happens when she is walking to her bedroom with her coffee and down goes the coffee. She wants to be healthy again but dr just keeping adding medications and nothing ever changes. My mother for last 5 years has been in this shape. Better this sickness took over she was an active person with 2 jobs, enjoyed her grandkids, enjoyed making people laugh, sociable and now i can barely get her out of the house. She tends to get anxiety when she has something to do and then this bout of sleepiness occurs and she is unable to do anything until she sleeps it off. Well I think it is the medications and I would like to know how do a person start over with new drs after all these years. I would like to save the life she has left. Please help

Shylou, I also have sleep apnea, and let me tell you that if it is very severe, your mother will fall asleep anytime and anywhere. It is because she isn't sleeping well. Her sleep doctor or the place where she got her CPAP machine can help her with trying out different masks. I began with the full face mask, but have "graduated" to just the nasal pillows. They are so much more comfortable and are not as restrictive. The newer machines are a lot quieter too. She should have her apnea reevaluated and get under the care of a sleep doctor. This is a dangerous situation, as the apnea also affects her heart.

She is way too young to be feeling this bad. Hopefully you can help her get all this straightened out. The meds may be interfering with each other.

Shylou,
Your mom's sleep apnea can aggravate all of her other medical issues. She needs her sleep to aid her body. Sleep apnea causes the heart to work very hard and it can lead to strokes and other things. I would highly encourage her to revisit C-pap threapy as txcamper sugests.

They have new machines that are quiet and easy to operate. I am new to cpap treatment, but it has really helped me. I wear a nasal pillow too and it's quite comfortable. There are websites just for cpap users and that can provide lots of emotional support too. Good luck.