Is this normal for my Dad to make comments that contain a sexual undertone directed towards me his daughter?

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I am caring for my 84 yr old Father with some Dementia/Alzheimer's. He makes occasional comments towards me that have a sexual undertone. It makes me very uncomfortable. He lives with us and I am his 24/7 caregiver... Is this normal...what can I do when this happens?

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Hi Purrson,
Sadly, this is not at all unusual. Alzheimer's takes the person back in time and your father may think that you are your mother when she was young, or some other young woman. He likely thinks he's quite young. Please try to understand that he doesn't know that he is propositioning his daughter.

As uncomfortable as this is, know that you aren't alone. You can tell him that you're his daughter but he may not understand that, so it's likely all that you can do is distract him. It is possible that his doctor may have medication that can help, so I'd talk with the doctor about this if it's happening very often.

Good luck and please come back to the site for support. There are many people in this community who have had the same experience.
Carol
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I can certainly understand your alarm and it is very upsetting no doubt. I do not know who posted on this site a link to Thoughtful Dementia Care by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller, but I truly thank them, I went back to thank them and their post was removed?? In any event, I went to youtube and put in her name and watched this lady speak on two videos about "thoughtful dementia care." She addressed this very issue. I would urge you and others to watch these two videos part one and two, each about an hour long. It is the best information in one place I have received to date.
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You said your dad has "some" dementia or Alzheimer's. Has he been diagnosed? What are the symptoms, i.e., how has the dementia or Alzheimer's progressed?

Does your dad wear pull-ups? Do you have to change him and clean him? Shower him? Is this when he's making the comments? Or does he just make them in passing? Without divulging the nature of the remarks maybe you could let us know how much care he's receiving so we can get a better picture which will help people share more detailed suggestions.
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No not wearing pull-ups..I do shower him and help him dress, he was dx with Dementia/ Alzheimer's but it's not bad...he knows who I am and he has more issues with short term memory. It's progressing very very slowly..it's somewhat related to Normal Pressure Hydroceohalus which has dementia symptoms which he was dx with. These comments are very seldom and never when I'm doing any hygiene to him...when it happened I just said, Father I'm your daughter and that's not appropriate and then just let it go...I thought it has happened with other caregivers but it is just very unsettling when it happens...
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I can imagine how unsettling that is! I'm sure it must make you very uncomfortable to say the least. Even trying to admonish him in telling him that it's not appropriate doesn't seem to stop the comments. I'm sure it's related to his dementia but knowing that doesn't make it any easier to live with.

I'm sure you will get more responses from people who have had similar experiences. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this.
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