I took of both parents in my home, none of my brothers help me, am I wrong for being angry at them? - AgingCare.com

I took of both parents in my home, none of my brothers help me, am I wrong for being angry at them?

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Dad died 2009. We had excellent parents and they just don't help they barely visit, they r mad because years ago my parents made me POA of all there business and told me not to share the info with them its in writing. I think thats why they won't come. And I'm the only girl. But my parents told me you are the most responsible. It makes me sad and angry.

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Sorry I didnt stay on topic and this was long, I just got Full inside thinking of the foolishness.
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Freflyer, thanks and I did try to have a sit down with them so many times I lost count. I want them to know the funny thing is if I shared it with they would declare I cohorts my parents. Trust me I would take of my parents period, heck there my parents. Years ago my dad had 8 houses, I was the on collect the rent, served evictions, clean the homes, everything when my dad called my brothers they would always come a day late. So each year my dad would sale a property for one dollar. He would ask the oldest first then the youngest, no one bought the property but me, now they r still. Understand t his I have a good job, 401k 457k rot acc and I retire in 4 years with a pension because I listened to my parents. I paid and sent them on cruises, vacations because they took good care of us. One last thing my 2 youngest brothers are the worst and they are elders in a church, my parents sat us down and explained to us they r getting older and tired my brothers never listen. Understand this my parents had good jobs retired the whole nine yards but with there money I pay 4 people to come in and care for my mom while im at work where do they think the money is coming from. Now I asked those of them that r laid off if u watch ur own mother while im at work I while pay u good but they think I should just give them the money. I really believe also my parents knew that due to having so many brothers I never took no crap from them or their wives. I allow them to visit but I had to start telling them if u dont come at the time you say you coming, DON'T COME! Its disrespectful to mom cause she is trying to stay woke to see you, SHE IS OLD AND ILL! and its DISRESPECTFUL to ME. I also have things to do. One time I over heard my dad tell my mom that they never had to evict me from my parents properties, I paid my rent and bought the properties also I never took any mess from my brothers and she was always fair. So im angry at their ignorance and only c a ring about one thing money and not MOM....God has truly help me care for both of them now its just mom and she gets everything and more. If she see it on TV and I can get it ITS DONE. Sorry so long
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Dezzie, welcome to the not so equal world of caregiving. If there is a family of boys with one girl, guess what, the girl is the chosen one to do all the caregiving. Aren't we lucky :P

I remember reading on the forum here where a parent had their son be the financial power of attorney even those he had a history of not being able to handle his own money, but the parents wouldn't choose the daughter who was an Accountant. That was just how it was, stereotypical thinking only males know how to take care of money. And only females know how to take care of people.

Glad the newer generations are being cross-trained.

And I can see where your brothers would be upset that you weren't giving out information, even though your parents told you not to. I would try to mend those bridges and start handing out bits and pieces of what is going on with Mom.
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The big issue with me and her is the money that mom and dad had came to me. I used it to pay off their house. She can't understand that. All she sees is I got the money she should get the house. How can anyone not understand that. If I had kept the money and she paid off the house I could understand her thoughts buy that is not the case
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I am sorry. New to this. I guess you can tell. I see it now. Hope it makes some sense.
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I will try again
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Gardenartist I did answer your question but don't see it
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Gardenartist you are right. No provisions. When my mom passed away everything went to dad. My dad did do a will but the house was to go to both of us. It did. My name is on the title but I can't sell without her and I can't evict her. It belongs to both of us. She won't sell because she has nowhere to live. I on the other hand have a home.
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I guess I skipped to the end before giving the middle. My sister and her husband did nothing for my dad after losing my mom and sister. My dad wanted to stay in his home after my mom passed. He wasn't able to do the things like remember his medicine. Eat etc. I was working, my sister didn't. I went three times a day to my dad to make sure he ate and took his meds etc. I ran 24-7. Why couldn't she help? The night my dad passed away I called my sister to let her know. She screamed a vulgar word. I told her it would be okay. She said no I just stubbed my toe getting back in the bed. Wow
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My post was directed to LosingMyMind, not the original poster.
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