I'm a non-family caregiver where the patient is an abusively demanding patriarch. He is attempting to subjugate me as well, any thoughts?

Follow
Share

I'm new and have only been here a week. This is a live in on call 24/7 situation for me. This 90 year old man has his poor wife, who has already injured her back trying to lift him prior to my arrival, hopping at his every petty demand. His three daughters are in and out, acknowledge the problem and avoid dealing with it in their own ways. Help?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
4

Answers

Show:
texarkana, Sunnygirl1, Eyerishlass, you have confirmed everything I have already been thinking myself. I'm grateful for the confirmation that I'm correct in my assessment. Thank you all for your support.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

As healthcare workers who work in private homes we see all kind of family dynamics. How this man treats his wife and adult children should be duly noted by you, privately, and then you go about your job. This man's relationship with his family has nothing to do with your job, how he treats them should have no bearing on how you treat him either. Whatever you do, don't get involved in family dynamics.

However, if he begins to think that he can treat you like a slave then that needs to be nipped in the bud. Don't wait for his family to step in, they're just relieved that you're there now and the major heat is off of them. I hope you have an agency you can turn to.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

She's right. This could be a dangerous situation. Has this man be diagnosed with dementia? If so, or if her has other mental health issues, he should not be left in charge of the home as it could be unsafe for him and others.

People with dementia are sometimes hostile and difficult to control and protect from themselves, but it has to be done. It sounds like the man's children are trying to avoid making that decision. His doctor may also be of some help, but if no one has POA, it may be difficult to act on the man's behalf if he resist.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

First don't get hurt yourself.If you are working thru an agency let your supervisor know about the situation. If you are self employed you really need to be careful and not get hurt.Does this man have diagnosed dementia? If this guy falls, I don't know how heavy he is DO NOT try to lift him yourself. Actually, 911 emts will help you get him up and also if he is a big fall risk in home care may no longer be a viable way for him to live.Sounds like you are not going to get back up from the family. Myself,I am a retired nurse, I would get out of this situation now due to the fact the family is in denial which sets you up.Do you have your own health insurance? What is the family going to do for you if you get hurt trying to help this guy? Are they going to help with your medical bills if you get hurt?Also sounds as if they aren't helping their mom out to much.Actually, I would just get out of this situation and tell the daughters that you are letting APS know about the situation because it sounds as if their mother is being neglected as it is obvious she can't safely care for this man.The reason I would call APS is because of their avoidance behavior and that they are aware of their parents problems and not dealing with it.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.