No one really cares. Any thoughts?

Put her back in the nursing home where she belongs. No one person can be expected to give 24/7 care to someone with your mother's level of needs.

My condolences on the loss of your father. For what it's worth, my parents were also married for 68 years when my father died. My mother never grieved for him either; in fact, today is the 6th anniversary of his passing & she NEVER speaks of him. Never. I won't even bother mentioning to her that today is June 23rd b/c she won't care. She's glad he's gone, and makes it a point to only talk about him to her nieces when it make her sound like a good aunt. No photos of him in her room at the Memory Care at all, nothing. So I feel your pain. It's not 'odd' they're acting this way, our mothers, it's more a sign of their narcissistic personalities that the world revolves around THEM THEM THEM and nothing else matters.

I would have lost my mind long ago if I had taken my mother in to live with me. I don't know how on earth you're doing it, but you should consider getting her back to the nursing home in an effort to take your own life back. ASAP. These women are miserable no matter WHERE they live or WHO'S taking care of them, so why ruin OUR lives trying to achieve the impossible?

Wishing you the best of luck. And know that there are a bunch of strangers here that DO care b/c we can feel your pain. Most of us are in the same boat or have been there/done that and know the pain of where you're at right now. Sending you a big HUG today!

I'm so sorry for the recent loss of your dad!

It sounds as though working to get mom back in to the nursing home might be the best idea all around.

This is more than one person can handle. Please look into placing her back into the nursing home immediately

Your mother's grief -- or lack thereof -- is not for you to judge or concern yourself with. My parents were happily married for 66 years, and my mother forgot my dad within two months of his death and "married" an imaginary husband and The Perfect Man. It made me furious at first, but then I realized it was her way of protecting herself from a loss she couldn't quite comprehend. I showed her a photo of my dad from their college yearbook the other day and she just shrugged her shoulders indifferently and said, "Huh." Her brain is broken, so I don't worry about it and neither should you.

You are understandably depressed and overwhelmed, so it's time to do something about it. Mom moves back to the nursing home. You get help for your own mental state and let the nursing home folks do their jobs without you having to worry about overseeing them.

Take things one step at a time, but the first step is moving Mom.

Last1standing - I care. I am a caregiver for my mother. I understand your struggle.

Perhaps, your previous posts were lost among many and not a lot of posters got a chance to see them. Sorry you didn't get many responses.

I read your previous posts where you said you didn't like the 2 nursing homes your dad and mom were in. That was the reason you took your mom back home after your dad passed away. Sorry for your loss.

Having your mom at home has proved to be an impossible position to be in, too. With your mom condition, she has to be in a nursing home. Put in camera to ensure better treatment as you said in your other posts. I hope you will find a better nursing home for your mother.

First, I am sorry that your dad died. It sounds like you're not only grieving, but are also suffering from depression as well. I hope you are being treated for that.
And then on top of all that, you chose to bring your mom into your home, who requires 24/7 care. WOW! I can only guess that your grief interfered with your thinking on that decision.
But thankfully, you already know that she really doesn't belong in your home, but back in the nursing home, where she will have the care she needs, and you can get back to just being her daughter. I certainly wouldn't give it another month, but would get the ball rolling now to get her back where she belongs.
I'm sorry that you're feeling that no one cares on this forum. I've been on it for I guess over a year already, and I've never gotten that impression. In fact it's been the opposite for me. I have found that there a many, many caring people on here who do truly care, and are just trying to make it through another day with the one(s) they're caring for, or trying their best to share with others things that have worked for them in their caregiving journey.
And also I have never seen a post/question go unanswered on here. Sometimes it may take a little while, but that is only because not everyone on here knows the answers to all the posts. I myself, only respond to the ones that I feel I can give a helpful reply, so please don't write us off yet. There are many on here that care.(we wouldn't be here if we didn't)
Please take care of yourself, get some therapy for your grief and your depression, get mom out of your house, and know that God loves you.

Why would you think no one here cares? This is a support group for people who are or have been caregivers to an elderly family member. Everyone here knows exactly where you're coming from and can relate to your situation because we've all pretty much been there or are currently there. This group has been a God send for me. I've learned a good many things from the people over here because many have had the same experience as me and they help. Sometimes a person just needs to tell it to people who get it. Everyone gets it here.
What you're saying about how your mother reacts to your father passing away is pretty common. She sounds like a martyr. A person who craves sympathy and attention from other people and wants to be pitied. I'm willing to bet she was one long before your father passed away and before she became elderly. If you take a minute to think about it, she was probably bossy, nosy, critical of you, and selfish your whole life.
Here's the whole of it. She lives in YOUR house. She is dependent on YOU. Not the other way around.
You are not a child anymore that she can make demands on or browbeat when she's having a bad day because she needs someone to take her anger and frustration out on. You're an adult and you do not have to tolerate her disrespect and abuse.
It may very well be that she is too old and too set in her ways to make any significant and lasting changes in how she behaves towards you. That being said, send her back to the nursing home if she's unable to treat you with the same basic respect and curtesy she'd show a stranger asking for the time of day. You don't have to have your life ruined by trying to be her caregiver. She needs more than you have to give. You can't fix her life.
Put her back in the nursing home you took her out. Let them do the job they're paid to do and let that be the end of it.

Sorry for the loss of your Dad.

If you need some kindness around that (& who wouldn't!) can you spend more time with some understanding friends? Less time with Mom?

Maybe you thought being with Mom would ease the grief? Help you both?

Unfortunately not to be.

So cut your loses & return her to NH care.

Being a visitor & not her 'staff' may really improve your relationship.

I think, for your own sanity, you need to bring mom back to the NH and give yourself time to grieve for you dad.