What happens if I no longer want to be healthcare POA or back-up financial POA? - AgingCare.com

What happens if I no longer want to be healthcare POA or back-up financial POA?

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I am healthcare POA and my brother is financial POA for our 90 yr. old mother who is currently in skilled nursing/rehab. My brother and I are also each others back-up POA. I no longer want the job because I have two other siblings (sisters) who are very combative and are making my life and my immediate family's lives miserable.

If I "step down" from being POA and my brother is unwilling to do it because he lives hours away, then will a Guardian automatically be appointed for my mother?

Also, how do I go about relinquishing my responsibilities as Health care POA. Who do I tell? Do I have to sign legal documents saying I don't want to do it anymore?

If my two sisters were willing to step up and be the health care and financial POA's, then maybe we could have new POA forms drawn up by an attorney and they could make all the decisions, but my mother has some dementia and I don't know if it would if new documents would be legal since she is not "totally" of sound mind.

I don't know what to do and any advice would be very much appreciated.

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Don't let it haunt you. You did the right thing and what is best for you.
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blannie, thank you so much!! I did exactly what you suggested and sent the notarized letters by certified mail, return receipt requested today. My brother has decided to resign, as well. Hopefully, my sisters will now step up and become the POA's since they insist on screaming and bullying until they get their way, anyhow. I'm sorry I couldn't see it through to the end - I'm sure it will haunt me until my dying day - but it was destroying me and my immediate family.Thanks again for your answers and support.
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Here's info more specific to North Carolina. It doesn't say how to resign, but you could contact them and see if they agree with the above info about resigning.

http://www.secretary.state.nc.us/ahcdr/thepage.aspx
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Here's where you can start. How to Resign as Power of Attorney
by Anna Assad, Demand Media

You should notify the principal and all involved parties when resigning.

Acting on behalf of another person because of a signed power of attorney carries legal responsibility, so you must resign if you can't or no longer want to perform the duties. An agent, or person authorized to act for another party, can typically resign without giving a reason or waiting a specific number of days. However, you should formally notify the person you're acting for, referred to as the principal, and all other involved parties to protect yourself legally.

Step 1

Draft a letter of formal resignation. Although some states don't require a letter of resignation, providing one protects you legally. Include the date the power of attorney was signed, the full names of the agent and principal, a statement that indicates you're resigning, and the last day you will act as an agent.

Step 2

Take the letter to a notary public. Sign and date the letter in front of the notary and ask her to notarize your signature.

Step 3

Make copies of the resignation. You need a copy for your records, copies for any other agents named in the document, and copies for all places where you had the power of attorney on file, such as the principal's bank.

Step 4

Send the original resignation letter to the principal by certified mail, return receipt requested. Send copies in the same way to all places that had the power of attorney on file and the other agents. Keep your copy and the mail receipts together in a safe place.
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Tryingtrying, I don't think people didn't answer your original question because they thought you should stay as POA. There are pages and pages of questions that people ask, so not all of them get the attention they should. Please don't EVER consider suicide as your solution to your problems with your family. You're worth much more than that! Walk away if you need to in order to preserve your own mental health.

Let me do some research about stopping being a POA. I don't know the answer, but I think I've seen that question asked here before. I'm sorry I didn't answer sooner, but I didn't realize you had posted an answer. Hang in there, we'll get you some answers.
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Thank you for your reply. Sometimes I wonder if the reason no one here answered my original question is because they think I'm bad for wanting to stop being my mother's Healthcare POA. But the only reason she "chose" me is because my brother and I were the only ones that showed up to the appointment the day the papers were drawn up. She didn't choose me because she "believed" in me, she chose me by default.

I'm the youngest in my family and my sisters treat me like a whipping boy. They have no respect for me and I can't take it anymore. I have yearned to commit suicide many times over these last months - that's how desperate I feel to have this burden lifted.

I definitely want to stop being the Healthcare POA and stop being the back-up Financial POA because my sisters are making my life unbearable and my brother is not helping at all even though he is the Financial POA. I'm just the back-up Financial POA, but he still has me sign all the papers and do what he should be doing. And since my sisters want to bully me and be in charge of all decisions, they should consent to being Healthcare POA and Financial POA, but they won't. Maybe if I step away, they'll step up.

I don't know if I can just stop being POA by refusing to do anything else, or if I actually have to fill out a form or sign a paper or something. I live in North Carolina and I've tried to find information online to see if there is anything I need to do to legally relinquish being Healthcare POA and back-up Financial POA, but I can't find the information anywhere.

If anyone out there knows the proper procedure in NC for not being POA anymore, please please let me know, as I'm desperate to get this resolved.
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Wow, you've got some really nice (NOT!) sisters. They just want to voice their opinions without taking any real responsibility. So are you keeping the POA then, or letting a guardian step in? Good luck with whatever you decide.
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Just thought I'd give an update on this situation. I contacted the attorney who drew up the original POA's and he said that since my mother had lucid days and times, that he could draw up new POA documents, and with my mother's permission, my sisters could become the Healthcare POA and the Financial POA.

This would solve a host of problems - but guess what? Even though I offered to pay the attorney's fees out of my own pocket to have my sisters made Healthcare POA and Financial POA, they were unwilling to do so. Instead, all they want to do is yell and scream their opinions and they hang up the phone when I suggest anything that isn't what they want. They think they're right about everything.

They want to "run the show", but by refusing to take on the roles of Healthcare and Financial POA's, they showed their true colors.
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Never mind. I contacted an attorney and got answers from him. thanks anyway.
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