Can no longer understand day to day life. What do I Do? Full time caregiver (son). - AgingCare.com

Can no longer understand day to day life. What do I Do? Full time caregiver (son).

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Finances no clue
Memory no clue
Hygine,, shower or bath (5yrs)
Verbally abusive
Cant hear
Wont listen
Self medicator
Egocentric universe
Would like to help her help herself, but have no control of her actions, am responsible, but at times would like to run away in frustration. How do I have her evaluated, in the hope that this can be better for us. Three years of care has me going nuts. She has been on a rapid decline for 1 1/2 years.

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Vero, I too am coming up on three years. I definitely understand. The best thing that has happened is that my mom now has a guardian, a social worker. She sees the excellent care mom is getting and has no intention, at this time, of moving her anywhere. But, she definitely understands the importance of respite. A caregiver comes in for the day on Saturday, and I am looking forward to my first night away, with the caregiver here, in nearly a year and a half.

Figure out a way to get some respite! What about a day program for mom to get yourself some time? I whold not be able to do this without the help I receive from day care.
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Dementia is such an ugly disease. I am sorry for you, and for your mother. How old is she? What kind of dementia does she have (if you know)? Are you living with her, and if so, in her house or yours? Does she have any in-home help besides you? Is she on any medications for the dementia?

Dementia robs people of their personality, their ability to reason, their ability to act in their own best interest, or even to recognize what that is. It is enormously frustrating for those who love them and want to help them.

There is no way to "fix" or "cure" the dementia, but there are ways to make it more manageable. This might include drug therapy, additional in-home help, moving to a care center, and definitely respite for the caregiver.

Please provide some more information about your situation, and people who have been where you are can share their experiences.
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I am so sorry you have to go through this! It's enough to make anyone want to run away in frustration. But with dementia, your mom can't help herself even if she wanted to or could understand what she needs to do. If you can get her to the doctor like Pam says, get a guardianship. Or if she's not able to take care of herself, if she goes to the hospital, when it's time for her to be released, let them know that you can no longer take care of her. Good luck and keep us posted. You've got your hands full and your mom is lucky to have you trying to help her.
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Petition for Guardianship if the MD agrees that she is no longer with it. Then you can place her in a NH and she cannot leave. Only with Guardianship.
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