Follow
Share

My lady who I sit with doesn’t want to participate in any activity other than TV. I feel like her cognitive status would benefit from an activity.
Her husband of 65 years died the first of September and I have seen her decline in her memory just the last 3 weeks.


She will not accept any ideas of support for walking. She uses a cane that doesn’t touch the floor most of time. I bought her a quad cane but she told me that it was too heavy.
I have suggested other aides to assist her, however, she will not accept ideas.


Her son son and daughter do not regularly visit, therefore it is up to myself, and 2 other caregivers to provide her with emotional support as well as her ADL’s.
Can you suggest any ideas for me to help her?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Burn something on the stove,I mean really burn it, filling the house with smoke, setting off the fire alarm. (I suggest steak in case she is anemic). Have two caregivers present to fireman carry her outside.
Once outside, hand her two crutches to get back inside once the smoke has cleared. You did set one steak perfectly done aside, right?

Hey, it's a start....

Sorry for her loss.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If my husband of 65 years passed away, I'd want to do nothing except sit there and vegetate, truthfully. My mother, on the other hand, was simply thrilled to be rid of her husband of 68 years and is thriving at nearly 93 years old, more than 4 years after my father passed away.

Everybody's different. In this case, there is probably no 'anti depressant' on earth gonna fix what's broken with this gal........and that's her heart.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If she was married 65 years, then she is in her mid 80s at least. Why does she have to "do" things. She may just want to be left alone. She has lived her life for everyone else, maybe she just wants to "do her own thing". Me personally, would not appreciate someone "at me" all the time.

I think we all go thru a depression after losing a loved one. Especially someone we were married to for 65 yrs. I don't think we all need medicine for depression. It hasn't been that long since her DH died. Let her grieve. I would not wait on her hand and foot though. Have her do what she can physically. Fold clothes, wash/dry dishes, bathe herself ect. You can ask if she wants to take a ride. Sit outside, do a puzzle but if she doesn't, don't push it. If she stops eating and loses weight, then tell her family.

My Mom had Dementia. She lost her ability to read a book. Her favorite thing. Church overwhelmed her. She was ready to go home after an hour. Suggestions were puzzles and playing games. She didn't do this before the Dementia so she wasn't going to after the Dementia.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Hey Grand, has she been seen for depression? That might be a first step if you are cleared to take her to her doctor. Our mom went through the same sort of thing, and then her geriatric psych doctor (of which I highly recommend everyone add to their dementia loved one's care team) prescribed zoloft and it helped a lot. Sounds like your gal's got a lot to be depressed about, so a med to help that might be just the ticket.

As far as actual activities go to coax her away from the TV - are there any community orchestras, theatres, colleges with performance arts departments in your area? We've found these organizations often have low cost performances that are often held in churches or community gathering places. I've noticed other caregivers and their charges at the ones we attend so I'm guessing they too have figured out that it's an inexpensive way to get their folks out and about and enjoying some music, or a play. We often don't stay for the entire performance as out Mom gets restless, so we just pick seats where if we have to leave it's the least obtrusive to the rest of the audience. College performing arts departments always have end of term choral, orchestra, jazz ensemble type of performances. One of local schools is completely free, the other one charges $5 dollars.

Also, check with your local senior centers. They offer low cost lunches that might get her some socialization, or bingo, or even dance afternoons. She clearly would have a hard time dancing! But ours has a small piece band that comes in on Friday's and we sometimes go watch the other folks spin around the dance floor!

If she loves TV, what about taking her to the movies? This is an activity that Mom used to really love, but now it's getting harder for her to sit still for 2 hours. For your gal, it's still akin to TV watching but with M&Ms and popcorn! Might work for her?

Good luck to you and your lady! I hope you find something to engage her a bit.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter