I've been trying to figure out some way to get some sort of income, but everything from IHSS to Welfare to any other program seems to be a dead end. I live in CA just to put that information out there. So here's the problem, my dad doesn't need care and has retired due to his eye sight getting bad, but he can still take care of himself (For now). My mom on the other-hand has lost most of her mobility, she barely can stand for a few minutes before he legs want to buckle. Both my parents are 62, my dad will be 63 in August. We trade off to make sure someone is always here for her, but my dad has a very hard time moving my mom over to her transport chair. Most of the physical stuff is left to me and as much as I wish my dad, while barely able to help physically with my mom, I wish he'd lend more of a hand keeping the house clean. I clean the house the best I can while I take care of my mom when she needs me all the while still trying to take care of myself in-between. I lost my job back in 2014 and had planned to get a job again eventually, but that was before my mom lost her mobility pretty much completely. I've contact all the place I could and explained my situation and it's always the same issue, "My dad, despite being retired makes to much money." Though if you take into account that not only do they pay their own bill, cost for food and other things, on top of that helping me with my own financial situation (Broke, no income) we're just scrapping by. I really don't need a lot, even 300$ to take my bill load off my parent would be a great help, but I just can't find any sort of program that will look past household income and instead look at the situation. I don't know if anyone has dealt with this kind of problem and found a way to be able to care for there love one while still be able to financially become secure enough without becoming a burden on those your trying to help out. I just feel bad and guilty that I can't help pay utilities or buy my own food. I can't even buy clothes I need. I've keep having to sew up my socks and stuff because I can't afford to buy new ones and I don't want to keep asking my parents when they already do so much for me. I just feel so helpless and places I call can't do anything. I get they're limited by the rule and regulation put in place, but a lot of people are stuck in the same situation and can't find a solution. Anyway, any help in a way to take even a slight bit of financial burden off my parent would be a world of help.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Why not contact your county area on agency and see what resources are available for mom so you can get out of the house and work

Your parents are still relatively young and you need to be paying into social security for your own good
Helpful Answer (5)

Wristan, the root of this is the blow you took when you lost your job. Don't underestimate how much hurt that does to a person.

Job hunting first. Get yourself back into the workplace *first*. Make that your priority. Once you've got past that huge mental, emotional and financial block, everything else will fall into place.

Your parents will be fine. Imagine if you didn't exist. They would be helped to access services, and helped to organise the financing of them - better than a lay person and family member like you is able to do it, too.

Look around locally for services that will help you get back into work, maybe through refresher training or something like that. Search online, or if you'd like more human input try libraries and other community based services. But right now you're in a trap. You need to get out of it, then you'll be in a much better and more hopeful place - AND better able to give your parents the right kind of support.
Helpful Answer (3)

Hi, Wristan. What a rough situation. Definitely check out your county's Area Agency on Aging if you haven't already. Your parents are relatively young, and while they certainly have a lot of problems, they could live on like this for years. Leaving you in not a good place when they do eventually pass away.

I was struck by your sentence: "I don't want to keep asking my parents when they already do so much for me..." You certainly do a lot for THEM. That you care so much is wonderful of you and speaks to how loving and considerate you are, but everyone at the end of the day needs an income. They should be paying you something for the care you are providing.

Just a thought, do your parents own their home, could they downsize? And use any leftover funds to pay for their care for awhile at least?

So sorry you're in this situation.
Helpful Answer (2)

Dear Wristan,

I would strongly suggest talking to a social worker in your community or to your church. They will know more about the resources in your community and how to access them.

If at all possible maybe even take on a part time job to bridge the gap till you can get more help from your community.
Helpful Answer (1)

SnoopyLove is right -- you are your parents' 24/7 caregiver, and you think you owe THEM? No, no, no.

You must be relatively young, and need to plan for your own future. I hope you have health insurance!

Any siblings?
Helpful Answer (1)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter