Mom (82, dementia probably ALZ, undiagnosed as she refuses to get tested) has lost her ability to use her TV remote without calling me in a panic that IT (either the TV, cable box, or remote) is broken. The only solution we have been offered by Spectrum is a larger remote with larger buttons. My mom can see fine, that isn't the issue. Her hands are so tiny I don't think she could operate a larger remote anyway.
I live 90 minutes away and can't just run over to help. She refuses to have anyone in town she can call to help - she doesn't want to bother anyone. But at 7:45 last night she wanted me to drop everything and run to help her. Didn't happen. If she is still having issues I will call Spectrum, who will charge her $50 to press a button. She will of course argue that it wasn't fixed right in the first place so why charge her? She either has no idea that she is causing her own problems, or she is in denial.
Others have suggested getting her satellite TV. Most of them have apps where I could control her TV remotely. We did have Dish for a year or two, but she lives in an area that routinely gets feet of snow at a time. The dish gets covered and needs to be cleaned off manually, which requires a call to the handyman and often a one or two day wait for them to come. In the meantime she has no TV, which is her only entertainment.
I did get her a Firestick a few years ago, so when the weather took her satellite out she could still have access to lots of streaming platforms. I even set them up with my accounts so they would be ready to go. She never got the hang of it and could not use it.
She has said no to home aides, even though she can afford it. She does have a woman come once a week for two hours to clean, which is helpful as she has lost the ability to actually clean anything. If it looks clean it must be, right?
I am really at the end of my rope with ideas as she shoots everything down and treats me like a stupid child for any suggestions I make. It's not just the TV thing. It's everything. It's all made that much harder due to her denials and refusals of help. She won't even believe a doctor if they say something she doesn't like. Of note, she has a large benign pancreatic mass that is pressing on her organs, particularly her stomach, which is causing dramatic weight loss. She wasn't overweight to begin with. She says the scans and doctors are wrong and it's just a way to get her money. This will all be compounded with the coming of winter as there are no specialists in her small town. Any doctor with any credentials is 90 minutes away where I live. The window to see anyone is now closed as she absolutely refuses to leave town during the winter. This is nothing new, she always had an irrational fear of being in a car in winter because it might snow.
Of note, there are no AL facilities in her area. There in one independent living place which is very nice, but I don't think she is independent enough. It's really moot as they have a no pets policy and going anywhere without her cats isn't an option for her.
In your mother's case, being she's so stubborn and refuses help but still expects it at the same time, suggest she read a book when the TV stops working. After she reads enough books, she may be more open to going into Assisted Living where she belongs, even if it's in another town. And plenty of them DO take cats, by the way.
Board and Cares are often less costly and more "family like" with only about 6 residents and 2 careworkers on each day.
The remotes are impossible for those with developing dementia. May be time to move to an old fashioned dial radio for her. I would simply tell her that you cannot deal with her television issues any longer, and are sorry about that; would be willing to get her a dial radio. In the ALF where my bro's ex is, he is now unable to operate his TV at all; it is removed from his room. Same goes for phones. He is down to the resident cottage's phone only. We move into the 21st century I am afraid (just got a kindle, and had a jitterbug silly thing only about two years) and then we move out again. This aging thing is a bear.
Have you thought about writing out the instructions, in a decision tree fashion? I.e., if one thing doesn't work, try something else, so that she can see, right in front of her, what steps she might need to take? It's a lot easier than trying to remember.
When my father lived alone he thought nothing of calling me at work in a panic because he screwed up the remote again. And expected me to leave work to fix it(NOW). I wrote out detailed instruction on how to reprogram but "it was easier if I did it". Well it was not easier for me. So he had to wait until it was CONVENIENT FOR ME to take care of it. Time to start doing that with your mom. Often I would fix things for my father and he would insist they weren't fixed....or he would want me to do things for him that he could honestly do for himself. They get to a point where the only answer they want to hear is "I will take care of it for you". But that is not realistic for our lives. I found that when my father would try and dump his problems (real and created) I would answer him with "I don't know what to tell you". It drops the ball back in their lap and tells them you are not playing "Knight in shining armor" today. If your mom refuses easy solutions then she does without. That is all there is to that. She wants you to make her happy but on her terms and sometimes that is just not possible.