Nine Inch Nails...well, not quite, but what's a good daughter to do?

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Dad had been going to a podiatrist I was not unhappy to learn moved out of the area...so the research began and the family medicine MD gave me a few names and I went on the first visit to see him. We all got along well, and he seemed to be an interested, caring an attentive guy. Two days a week he has walk-in appts, no appts are necessary, but you may have to wait. First time there they both got their nails done, no issues. I had not known mom had a fungal issue but apparently this is not uncommon. The plan was to get both mom and dad in synch with the visits so that she would go with him and get hers done because, like the bathing issue, she is not doing it even though she says she is. Well, today I carefully coordinated (and you all know how much time it can take to do this) a plan of her hair being done (mostly just to get it washed on a routine basis), her nails trimmed ("express" manicure for $15 just so they are trimmed and filed which she also neglects), and then to the podiatrist for the toe nail trim...an appt she refused to go to last month, so I won't set any official appts up for her. Due to work, it wound up that Dad took her...and they went there, and were in the office and she refused. Said she does them herself. Podiatrist didn't apparently (per dad who is deaf...) put forth any effort to convince, persuade. Don't be looking at me...she will be equally if not more uncooperative as I am the evil bossy, daughter. No other one is in town. With the dementia I'm sure there will be no retention of this until it comes up in the moment...but I told her that when her stock of ice cream treats runs down, there will be no more until she gets her nails trimmed. Of course in the meantime I'm concerned she will be hungry as she eats the treats once if not twice a day. Yes, there is someone who makes home visits for this...but I suspect we'll be in the same situation...i.e. they make the special trip and are rejected/turned away. Right now they are not horrible...but nails grow...and that moment will come...Do we let them just keep going/growing...or do we let her have her way? Do we medicate her?? Not my choice to be sure...

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tacy022...you're killing me! LOL...I remember hearing about the Fox Theatre...I was about 7 when we moved away. We lived off Seven Mile and still have relatives there. Do you remember the Stage Deli? I like your idea about switching things up, but I have to have a set appt with the hair and finger nail people, and she does NOT exactly look to that as a joyous event. SHe only goes with a grudge and I just won't take no for an answer and get her into rushing mode so she doesn't have a chance to give me grief. Getting the hair done is essential because she does not shower or do her hair even if she lies and says she does. Going to lunch will take way more strength and lots more chocolate than I have:-)
Buzzy...I explained, we do not have a lovey-dovey relationship for me to be the one to provide care or pull out a basin to soak her feet. She is uncooperative to damn nasty. And, as I mentioned, I do know of a mobile practice, but the odds are...although I suppose we won't know unless we try, that she would reject/refuse/turn away a professional after they make the journey. Suppose we could have Dad be a patient as back up. Then I can add "sweep up toe nail clippings" to my to do list:-)
CountryM: Yes, I was present and the foot MD was really nice and she wasn't happy but cooperated; she didn't like the sensation or efforts but he did trim her nails and then filed them with dremel a little bit. I can't help but feel guilty for not being there this time, in fact it would have been me to take her if not for work...and that I had caught her cold of the week prior and didn't want to spread any germs. Thinking if I had been there I might have been some influence, but I don't think these professionals are into creating grief for themselves.
Pepsee, you make a good point...Never thought to ask the fingernail person about that...BUT...what do you all think...I would feel super guilty requesting mom to be done or ever going myself with this common fungal condition that makes for thick overgrown toenails. I guess I could ask her person. How is she with that? Well, in former years mom would do her nails especially before going out to socialize on the weekend. With polish. Before Dad's big birthday bash, I set up an appt for a manicure at a non-tipping spa I patronize sporadically that is close-by. My sister took her (she was in from out of town) and reported that mom seemed to actually enjoy the included hand massage, but still refused any polish. That's the way the nail trims have gone...I know our/my limits and personal care tasks are not going to go well with me...which is why I got the person to do the fingernail trims. It is right next to the guy who does her hair, coordinated to be RIGHT after, so there's no arguing or transporting...with others around she seems fairly agreeable and not combative about it. At this place, it is a minimal expense ($15 + tip), but worth the alleviation of stress and longer nails collecting debris. You've given me a good idea though...I guess I need to ask these folks if they've encountered nails like this and if it grosses them out or are they willing. I'm guessing with it not being a podiatrist that there will be no insurance coverage:-)
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Reply to gdaughter
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Nine Inch Nails, lol. First concert I ever went to. Snuck out of my window and took off to downtown Detroit and saw them at Fox Theatre...the good ole days.

Trying switching the appointments toenails first, hair only if toenails were done. I used bribery, if toenails were done, we would go to lunch.
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How is she with the manicure appointments? Why not just try and see if she likes the salon pedicure? My Mom loves a little pink on her toes and hands. She neglected them for years before I took her to salon. Maybe it's worth a shot?
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Reply to Pepsee
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On the first visit to this new recommended podiatrist with the walk-in clinic, did your mother actually get her toes seen to then or was it just a meet-and-greet?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Look for a 'mobile' podiatrist.
Out hospitals send out chiropodists to elder folks homes. For those that would have trouble getting to them.

Get two foot-baths.
Pop their feet into the baths about 10 mins before podiatrist arrives. #

Make it a treat day.
Get them 'set up' with a platter of their favourite nibbles.
Put on some calming music.
Get dvd ready for afterwards so they can watch a film or nature programme (whatever floats their boats) :)

Good Luck
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