What's my next step, my husband had his first incident of walking off while I was at an appointment? - AgingCare.com

What's my next step, my husband had his first incident of walking off while I was at an appointment?

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I called 911. He decided to take a long walk in my absence. When the police found him, he truly did not recognize the seriousness of the situation. He has moderate dementia, is on Aricept. His memory is very poor, can't drive any more. I'm the sole caregiver, barely holding it together at times. I want to place him in adult care for two days a week. He keeps insisting he needs no care and can stay alone. I'm going to have him go the two days although it will be under protest. The whole thing makes me feel guilty, which he is probably hoping will happen and I won't do it. I need to. He needs the out side stimulation. Any ideas how to handle the stress I know is going to occur when I force this issue.Any ideas would be helpful. Thanks

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bhjos34, I have heard that one way to get a person to attend adult day care is to say that the place needs "volunteers" and they would love to have him come to help out. You would need to sit this up prior with the Staff at the day care, see what activity is available that you and the center think he can help out as an "expert".
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Unfortunately your husband can't make rational decisions on his own anymore and is unable to stay alone. Thank goodness he was found by the police when he wandered off and wasn't hurt. He may not be so lucky the next time. He needs around the clock care now that he's wandering. A set of eyes will have to be on him constantly.

Stand your ground about the adult daycare. You're right when you said that your husband needs outside stimulation. He needs social interaction and a place to go a few days a week. There will be food available, snacks, entertainment....I think once he gives it a chance he'll enjoy it. But for now it's new, he probably doesn't like change, and it causes anxiety at the prospect of being away from you but I'll bet that almost everyone who's gone to adult daycare has felt the same way in the beginning.

Don't give into the guilt. If you do you'll never get him to adult daycare. Don't let him manipulate you. Your desire to send him to adult daycare is in his best interest but unfortunately he's unable to make decisions that are in his best interest anymore so the decision-making falls to you.

Daycare is a new situation and that's scary for your husband but once he's gone several times regularly it won't be new anymore and he'll be more comfortable going. You're doing this for him.
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