Hi I’m Twillie. I came to this site when my mom was healing from hip replacement back in 2016. It proved to be very difficult caring for her in my home so I placed her at a independent care facility where she was well cared for, had excellent meal service, Doctor and caregivers on staff, 6 weeks later my brother took her out. (Said she couldn’t afford - not true!). He moved her back to the town near him so he and his wife can conveniently take care of her. Problem is they dont - both work full time, he as a pilot. So yours truly here gets to do the grunt work, the transportation to doctors, meals out, grocery, etc. Mom is a shut in so she looks forward to a weekly visit from us (never at the same time). I'm making plans to try and find work. My husband died 8 years ago and I feel finally ready to work for hire.
I’ve told my mother that I will not always be available and she will need to make arrangements. She retorted something that made me feel guilty. I have had a very tough time. Not to sound like a victim my son died too. I’m worried that my mom will want to move in with me which would cause a clusterf$&* Since I am poverty line widow just trying to stand on my own two feet - get no benefits - rely on ACA for insurance and still pay Uncle Sam his 10% penalty. I just don’t know how to bring it up that my gas, sundries, food, and meals when she is in my care, is costing me a great deal. I see what's coming down the pike - she’s having more and more difficulty performing ADL’s. I would just as soon leave this monkey on my brother’s back and just do what I am reasonably equipped to do. I don’t want power of atty, executrix, etc. though I do want things to be fair and not get taken advantage of because I have no other family in my life.