Hi there. So I'm in a sticky situation and I'm going to lose my marbles if something doesn't change soon. My husband and I have been married for just over a year now and we have a very tiny apartment that we live in. We also both have full time jobs and I'm going to school. With all of that being said, my mother also lives with us. She actually is living on our couch in our living room (which is really tiny).
I had moved out of her house and on my own for a few years when my mom hit a real rough patch. She lost her job because of... Well it is a long story but she wasn't fired. And she couldn't get a new one where she was living because of her age (she's 60) and also because the economy is terrible where she was at. She ended up not being able to pay her bills or any of her rent so we offered to have her move 6 hours to live with us (which we paid for). The plan was to get her here and help her find a job and get her back on her feet enough to where she could live on her own. But everything seems to be going wrong. About a month after living with us with no luck of finding a job, she fell down a flight of stairs and broke her wrist and pelvis. Then shortly after she healed, her very unreliable car died on her so now she can't go to and from anywhere (and she wont take the bus, we've tried). We have become her main source of income and transportation and its been really really hard. We were already struggling before she moved it and its only gotten worse. Not to mention the fact that all of this has really taken a toll on us mentally and gotten between our marriage. Our sex life has suffered because she's literally about 20 feet away from us at all times. I miss having our own space and our freedom. We've only been married for a year and I want to cherish every moment I can with him. We are secluded to our bedroom because it uncomfortable to be around her.
Its also hard because my mother is stubborn, negitive and rude and can be manipulative. It is extremely hard to get along with her. I pretty much avoid talking to her at this point.
I don't know what to do. I need my sanity back and so does my husband. I can't keep forking over money because I have a life that I'm trying to build. But she has no money, no car, nonwhere to go. What should I do?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Every bit of advice helps.
PS. She already has food stamps and medical. She had section 8 but lost it when she moved in with us.
It sounds as though she falls into that "screwed" category of being between 55-65 years old, too young for SS, not disabled enough, nobody wanting to hire her, and she doesn't have an underage child with her to qualify for state assistance. Wow. This may be one of those situations where NOT much help is available. I hope posters here have more on this than I do.
KayFox,
You say that she's already getting FS and medical. How much is she living on and is she on Medicaid?....I actually feel for both of you. You should have your privacy and should not play role reversal. That's not fair to YOU.
YOUR mom should know this and stop imposing on you.
She needs to reapply for section 8, and visit a social service office to see what help she could get.
And here's Section 8 info for Humboldt County: http://eureka-humboldt-hsg.org/programs.html
Good luck and keep us posted! We're here to support you.
Start making phone calls to social service agencies in your area to find out what services are available. See if she can reestablish her Section 8 in her new location. If you give us your town/state, I'll do some research about agencies you might call. You've done more than enough for you mom. It's time for her to step up and take care of herself so you can live your own life. I'm older than your mom and I can't imagine taking such advantage of my own child.