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My FIL has been in a hospital or rehab since November 2. He had necrotizing fasciitis and a large portion of calf tissue removed. He was pretty much confined to his scooter before this, he used a walker for toiletting and showering. Now he is confined to his bed - PT has resulted in no measurable progress. He is diapered at the rehab facility. Amputation has been considered.


Today the social worker called and said that progress has plateaued and that he is scheduled to be discharged next week. We have a care conference scheduled for tomorrow Morning. This all just came up suddenly. I know that he is not ready to be home, but insurance can’t/won’t pay for him at rehab since he plateaued. I want to enter tomorrow’s conference as prepared as possible - it’s hard to ask questions, let alone the right questions, when you don’t understand so much! I think if FIL is discharged home he will end up right back in the hospital within 2 weeks max. MIL has a lot of her own issues and can’t care for him. My husband and I work and are raising our two busy teens, so we aren’t able to provide the level of care he needs. What options should we look at? I’m at a loss. They have minimal assets and just Medicare and a small supplemental insurance. Our home is a mother/daughter set up and they live with us, but independently.


Thank you for reading. I know it was long. I’ll take whatever prayers, support, or advice you have!

When dad was in the horrifying rehab here and making no progress, they REFUSED to release him to independent living with my mother as his caregiver. They wanted to admit him to the skilled nursing section of the facility, and charge me $7k a month for him to live in a dump. By the grace of God and a small miracle, I managed to get my folks into
an Assisted Living Facility down th street in spite of dad's physical therapist trying mightily to prevent It! Prepare your words carefully for the case manager....stand your ground, give em hell if need be, just don't back down! Your dad is in NO condition to be released to YOU, period.

I know how worried you are....the elder care crisis we are facing in this country is REAL and it's very very frightening. Do not hesitate to call an elder care attorney if need be. And also tell the rehab fools you need MORE TIME and 24 hrs notice is NOT enough!

Sending you a big hug and a few prayers, too. Good luck!!
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Your profile says 49 yrs old. Not sure why this happening, the wrong numbers being posted. Not ur fault.

This is just a summary to give you an idea. There's more involved.

To receive Medicaid, all assets will have to be liquidated. This goes for bonds, shares, stocks, IRAs, CDs, insurance policies, etc. Maybe just Dads half? Funerals can be prepaid. Half of assets hers, His half will have to be spent down to no more than 2k. Some of his SS may be used to offset his care but Mom will not be impoverished. She will stay in the home but will need to keep the house up.

Like I said, this is just a summary. I agree, you need to be firm and say there is no way Mom can care for Dad. What he has is very serious. Has to be watched and bandaged. I don't think its something that a lay person should be responsible for. My daughter is a woundcare nurse who has training. Amputation is another thing depending on his age and mental compacity and overall health.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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He needs to go on Medicaid and stay in a nursing home. The 100 days under Medicare is ending and rehab is notorious for telling you at the last minute. Your question is very familiar to us on this forum. The social worker knows the talk She CAN assist in the filing of paperwork but will not do anything until you say he cannot come home under those conditions. KEEP TELLING THEM at the conference. Shame on them for giving 24 hours notice.

Refuse to take him home. Rehab has to ensure safe discharge. They need to get paid for the extra days also. You saying no puts the fire under them to take responsibility to file paperwork with your help. Once paperwork is filed when all is settled, Medicaid goes retroactive.

What you will need to do is gather 5 years look back of expenses and assets such as ownership of property or car. Do realize that once on Medicaid, any income such as Social security goes to his care. But his wife should not be impovereshed.

I recommend to get the book, How to protect your family's assets by Gabriel Heiser to get you up to speed about Medicaid to get you up to speed
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Reply to MACinCT
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Lrs497 Jan 2, 2019
Thank you! I know Medicaid is key. I wish I knew more about how all of this works 5+ years ago. You’ve bolstered my confidence to go in there tomorrow staying strong about not being able to care for him adequately at home. I was feeling guilty about that...
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"Unsafe discharge". That is the phrase other posters to this forum have used to advise social workers and discharge planners that there is no one available to care for a relative.

Is it possible that somehow the hospital has mistakenly gotten the impression that you and your husband are chomping at the bit to take on FIL's care? Definitely disabuse them of this notion.

I hope others have additional suggestions for you.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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Lrs497 Jan 2, 2019
Thank you! That is a good buzz word to keep in mind. It is exactly in line with what my husband an I are concerned about.
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