Hi. I'm new to this forum. I found it today after feeling overwhelmed caring for my father and could use some support and advice. My dad is 86, insulin diabetic, moderate dementia (progressing quickly) and has had recent frequent infections. We got him to finally move into assisted living about 9 months ago which was going OK, but after a fall due to UTI and pneumonia, he was in the hospital for 10 days and then rehab for the past month. He had another fall last week at rehab which landed him back in the hospital for 3 days and now he's back in rehab. His Assisted Living place evaluated him and says his care needs are beyond what they can handle there. We're not happy with the care he's getting at the rehab hospital and have been touring recommended nursing homes in the area and I'm shocked at the cost ($12-15K/month.) My dad has some assets so we need to pay privately. ALSO, his AL place says they need 60 days notice to move out so we will have paid $25K for the three months he was not in his AL apartment! The 60 days notice seems excessive. I'm planning to consult a lawyer on this especially since he needs to leave because of health issues. Has anyone experienced this long notice from an assisted living place?
Also, the palliative care nurse at the hospital has hinted we should consult with hospice once he's settled into a nursing home as she says we're likely to see more frequent infections, especially pnemonia due to my dad progressing dementia and swallowing issues. He seems fairly stable now but I'm realizing every day is different. I guess my other question is how fast do things progress at this stage? We're trying to figure out how long his money will last.
Lastly, I'm single (54) and the primary caregiver since my mom passed away 4 years ago. I haven't been working and have been going through my own savings. I don't know how we'd deal with things if I took a full-time job. My brother helps out too but he has a hard time dealing with things and his health is suffering because of the stress. We have another sibling that lives out of state that has helped minimally. My brother and I have been getting into lots of fights due to the stress we're both feeling which is heartbreaking to me as we need each other.
If anyone has any advice on any of these areas, I'd greatly appreciate your thoughts. I will spend time on here and provide some answers to others as I feel I can be of help. Thank You!