New to Agingcare and just want to meet some people that understand what I’m going through. I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life.

Hey Jeremy. Welcome.

You'll find plenty of people here also going through the roller coaster of caregiving. For me, sometimes it gets to the point where I think I'll going to pop. What gets me through it is knowing that I'll get through it. As bad as it seems in the moment, it will get better.

You might want to look for a caregiver support group in your area. Nothing beats in person face to face contact.

You might also want to see a therapist yourself. There's nothing wrong with seeking help.

Hi Jeremy. I'm so sorry you both are so young to be dealing with cancer. I hope your wife will beat this disease.

And yes, caregiving is a lonely, soul sucking job. I was so miserable and felt so alone until I found this forum and discovered that there were so many others in similar situation.

I cared for my Alz. mother in my home for 2 years and those were the worst two years of my life. I was so stressed out, so burn out, so resentful, so angry all the time. I had no life, no vacations, no breaks, and little time for my husband and kids. It felt like there was no end to the stress.

I finally had to move my mother out and got help. So now, my mother is looked after by myself, my aunt, my brother, and two paid sitters. It takes 5 people to look after my mother. I still feel stressed out when I'm with her, but it's so much better than before. Now, I have time for my husband, my kids and myself.

Jeremy, you need to get help. You can't be the only person who looks after your wife. It is killing you slowly. Join a support group, ask others for available resources in your area. Take all the help you can get.

Also, come here and vent. It does help.

Hello,

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry that you and your wife are going through this. I did care for my mom, dad and brother. My caregiving days are over now but I certainly know how heartbreaking, emotionally and physically exhausting it is. It is also extremely isolating.

You and your wife are so young. What an awful situation to be in. I am married for 41 years. I am 64. I can’t imagine what you are going through. It has to be the most devastating and challenging time of your life.

Do you have help in caring for your wife? Have you been able to have the emotional support of a therapist or a caregiver’s support group?

You are certainly welcome to join in our conversations. We are speaking about the elderly but I don’t see why there would be any objection to you being young and caring for your young wife.

Please vent anytime you would like to. Ask any questions that you have from either current or past caregivers like myself. I don’t want to pry and ask you to speak about anything that is uncomfortable. You lead the conversation. Will try to help as much as possible.

Sending a bazillion hugs your way 💗.

Thank you all for your kind words. I have been getting a little help from my mother in law and father in law. Mainly my mother in law. She will get my wife’s prescriptions and sometimes take her to her doctor appointments. But her oncologist is in Gainesville so I have to plan for that and work around my job. I work full time as a meat cutter so I’m at work a lot as well which I thought about quitting but honestly it’s the only thing keeping me sane at this point. My immediate family can’t help nor would I ever imagine to take on such a burden. Our daughter (11) helps with laundry and small chores around the house as well. But my wife loves animals which I do to so caring for the animals is a task in itself (she has a lot of animals) I can’t find it in my heart to put any animals up for adoption it would crush her. And I’m not trying to get to sensitive or talk on this but we are younger and have been married for 9 years but there is no sex life im not saying that’s important but to not be able to express our live in that manner anymore is hard. I just don’t have time to find a support group and meet in person or I would have that’s why I kind am trying this out even if it helps just a little that would be such a relief just to talk and vent to someone that understands. I thank you all for responding I honestly didn’t think anyone would say anything. I’m headed to work now I will check this as much as I can to read and comment. I hope I didn’t miss anyone’s questions and I’m not sure how direct or private messaging works but if I didn’t respond you can do that. Thank you again. I hope everyone has an amazing Sunday.

Jeremy, welcome to the forum! You will find the most caring, honest, loving people on this site. Each of us are going thru a caregiving journey and each situation is individual in needs. I understand your situation. When i was in mid 30s, i lost my husband to pancreatic cancer. That was definitely the lowest, most gut wrenching time of my life. Has your wifes doctor mentioned hospice for her? If not, ask about the services. They have a lot of resources and grief counseling. Even though i worked in oncology at a large medical facility, i took advantage of counseling. It is so difficult watching our spouse suffer and our whole life is turned upside down. Please continue to come here for support. Sending healing blessings your way💞 Liz

Jeremy, Does someone help get your daughter to clubs and such after school? As a child, my father and then my grandmother were very ill and were in the hospital more times than not. The best thing for me was to keep going to Vacation Bible School (I went to 3 different church programs one summer!), choir through a close by church (even though the family was not a member) and my Brownie troop. It made a part of my life "normal." I'm sure if you put out the word to the moms in your daughter's class, they would be delighted to help out.

The people here are kind and truthful. They have helped me tremendously as I balance taking care of my children as they age and go off to college while I manage my mthr's care. Ask questions and listen.

Hugs!

Jeremy, You don't know how happy I am to hear that your MIL is homeschooling your daughter. I homeschool and I see it as the best way to keep a child near a parent who has a limited amount of time left. It does not matter if she gets all her lessons in, but what matters is that she gets time in with mom. <3

Next - is there any way you can adopt your step daughter so that she is officially yours and you have rights to her?

I am so glad you are finding comfort knowing there are people through the web who are on your side and understand. <3

Jeremy, I hope you will find many welcoming and loving offerings coming from this group.
I spent a large part of my life working with clients who had severe brain injuries, and although the family members I’ve taken care of happen to have had other issues, mostly dementia, I still have great respect for all that take care of those who become caregivers via your situation.

First and most important- you are NOT alone, but I have observed that many people in your situation are stretched so thin, and are so exhausted by their circumstances, that they don’t have the time or ENERGY to seek out people in similar situations, as you have realized for yourself. You CAN voice and vent here, so do so.

We are glad you have found us.

Welcome aboard , this is a good place to find like minded people, in situations similar to yours, if not exactly the same.

Hi Jeremy! Welcome Welcome Welcome. I found this agingcare online and you
won't feel alone. A big hug for you and your family.....