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All of a sudden my husband (late stage Parkinsons with increasing dementia) is asking to come back to our home. He's been in assisted living for almost four years and has never asked before. Should I lie and tell him we sold the house or convince him he's in Assisted Living, has Parkinsons and he needs the extra care, or try and ignore the question for a while? Recently I've been going to see him every day. Maybe I should cut back on visitation frequency?

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Be honest. Tell him that you, along grieve the truth along with him, but that coming back home is not now and won't be an option. Excuses and lies add to hurt and confusion. This isn't the first time in hubby's life that the answer was "no".
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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This is a dementia behavior called Sundowning. The best way to deal with it is to distract him. If the facility has any activities, take him to one while he is in this state.

My Aunt sundowned every afternoon like clockwork. It didn't matter if we "reminded" her she was in the same house she'd been living in since 1975. It didn't matter that we wrote a large sign for her to read that said, "You are home. You live here." It didn't matter that I walked her outside and showed her her house, the address that matched the mail that came in her name. It is part of dementia. Bring an activity for him to do, like a card or board game, watch a light-hearted movie, dance together, whatever it takes. Or only visit him in the mornings.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Do not bring him home. Does he have Dementia now? If so, he may not mean your home but a childhood one. Be honest, tell him is where he is because he needs care that you are not capable of giving. You can cut down on your visits. Maybe everyother day. If he has Dementia, he has no conception of time. His days just go into one another.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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