Prior to her diagnosis, I have done a living trust and I do need to go over her health directive.
I asked her doctor to refer me to a neurologist and his diagnosis was dementia...doctor did CT and MRI - shouldn't she be evaluated by a neuropsychologist to determine what is left? I have no idea of what type of dementia it is.
She is the widower of a veteran, but I am told they have changed the financial assistance level based on your income (she is not wealthy, but she is not low enough on the criteria to rate assistance; any financial rearranging has to be 3 years ahead -she is 94 yrs. old, and I could use some advice with finances).
She is aware there is an issue with memory, she repeats herself and sometimes she remembers that she said that before but continues on (nonstop talker).
My father-in-law has Alzheimer's and I take care of him as well.
In our family "historically" we take care of our own, no facilities' which means I need in home care.
I could use some direction and advice from the community, because I need to get help!
Yes, further evaluations should be done to determine the cause of your mom's dementia. Dementia is not a diagnosis, it is merely an umbrella term for certain cognitive related symptoms. The reasons for the symptoms need to be determined. That's the neuropsych's job. The diagnosis is not so much for the patient as much as it is for the caregiver. I always advise caregivers to educate themselves on the cause of the dementia, but how do you do that if you don't know the cause? Also, donepezil, FDA approved for AD, causes worsening behavior for those with FTD.
It takes someone with a strong commitment to care for two LOs with dementia. I applaud you for that. However, dementia diseases manifest themselves differently in different people. And, although your family historically takes care of their own, you don't know what the future holds or what behavioral challenges you will be faced with. Don't close the door on the possibility of care facility placement for your mom. Caring for one LO with AD and another with undiagnosed dementia can certainly take a mental and physical toll on a caregiver. Be aware of your caregiving capabilities.
Speaking of record keeping, that has helped me a lot when going to doctor's appointments-my husband glosses over various things-and out comes my calendar and I cite what, when and where stuff has happened. Did the same when caring for my Mom. This helps you keep a very good grip on what is going on, that you haven't forgotten something, that this has been documented, that you are in charge, because, you are.
Lots of great advice here, hope you're doing well and are on a good path to be the best caregiver. And have the courage and wisdom to know when that may not be the best path to stay on and get help.
A) are you willing and capable of doing this, and do you wish to, and are there other siblings who may want to do it in your stead. It involves a LOT of record keeping, getting bills sent to you, insuring they are paid, and etc.
B) does she wish to have you take this over for her.
I ask both of these things because my brother was diagnosed after a serious car accident with probable early Lewy's dementia. It IS important, by the way to get good diagnostics to know what stage and what type dementia you both will deal with if you are able. He then made me Trustee of Trust and POA and we worked together to get everything set up so I would pay his bills, etc. This made it so much easier than it would otherwise have been.
I wish you the best of luck. Step at a time and relax where you are able but the LEGAL steps must be done at once, while there is time for your Mom to understand and cooperate with decisions for papers to be drawn by an elder law attorney. Don't wait. Start right away in the new year.
I sure wish you luck. I KNOW what you are feeling and going through. And welcome to the forum.
If you do not wish to take on the financial aspects you can now hire a Licensed Fiduciary to keep this stuff out of your Mom's hair. It would be best. Elders at this state can fall prey to predators out there and lose control of what finances they have. You have time to draw up a STRONG POA with your and your Mom's attorney that will cover everything; I thanked goodness over and over that I had that.
Again, good luck.
Did you ask the neurologist why s/he didn't order neuropsych testing?
Call tomorrow and ask for a referral for that.
Diagnosis of the type of dementia is very difficult. My mom had a major stroke and shortly thereafter was dxed with vascular dementia, but we were told that there might be some Alzheimer's as well.
Some dementias present with very clear symptoms (Lewy Body, for example) but most don't.
Schedule an appointment with an Eldercare attorney who is familiar with VA and Medi-Cal requirements. Don't rely on what friends, neighbors or folks on here "know".
Mom's money shoukd be spent on her care, but there is usually an optimal way to spend assets. That's one of the things an experienced, certifed eldercare attorney can help you with.
And remember, while you may be the designated family caregiver and your family may "always" have cared for your elders at home, you are one, aging human and your life and mental/physical health need to be safeguarded.