This family claims they bought a townhome next door because the father is dying and it will be a place for their mother to live after he’s gone. Sort of a downsizing; however, over a brief amount of time it has become apparent that she has something going on mentally. I’ve heard them arguing through the walls and on the back patio that now that she can’t take care of him. They think she’s had three strokes since moving in. Didn’t see that coming I’m sure, but now they really need help. They do not want to put them in a facility because they’ll be separated. There is at least one family member less than five minutes away so he claims. They come and go with each catastrophe that happens but don’t stay or move in. Now the neighbor with mental issues is claiming that I’m harassing her when in fact it’s the other way around. I hear her yelling at the family members all the time through the walls. I get yelled at when she’s on her back patio and I’m trying to enjoy my patio, I get yelled at in the front yard because when I’m taking photos of some yardwork I’ve done to send to my mom who wanted to see them she claims I was photographing her property. She went to the police and convinced them I was and I got a visit from a sheriffs detective saying not to go over there which I dont except for a few prior times like taking the mail that ended up in my mailbox for them and when I heard her husband through the wall crying out for her at least a half a dozen times. I went over to let her know he was yelling for her. She slammed the door in my face. I won’t be going over there at all because now this cluster is affecting my life dramatically. The visit from the officer was a wake up call that they don’t appreciate nor care about my peace of mind. Please don’t suggest talking to the son and daughter. They know exactly what’s going on. They’ve never been nice to me at all. The son butchered my shrubs along the driveway the day before I had someone coming to cut them back and give them more room in their driveway (the mother knew, but now says she didn’t have that conversation). I volunteered to walk their dog for free after their daughter asked me if I could help and she never followed throug. Basically, my assessment of the situation not being a professional is that someone needs to be living with them 24/7 or they need to be in a facility. They are driving me nuts and now I realize having a conversation with the mother and the daughter and a son is pointless. They know what’s truly going on and are pointing their fingers at me? Help :(
If their mail is put in your box write on it "delivered to wrong address" and place it back in your box. The post office will deliver it to the correct address next time. DO not place anything in their mail box or go onto their property.
If you have an HOA bring some of your concerns about noise to the attention of the HOA, if it is a violation they will notify the residents.
Do not walk their dog for free of for payment.
I guess bottom line is back off...have as little to do with them as possible.
If you truly think they are in danger, if there are VALID reasons that can be proven that they can not safely live alone contact APS but do not make that call if the concerns are not valid. If you make calls for no reason when there is a real concern they may not take the call seriously.
Go about your life as if they do not exist.
This is not your drama, It's theirs! Don't make it yours! Do not contact the family. Do not help them. No contact. Ignore.
I know it's hard, but you need to protect yourself and that's the only way you can do it, other than moving. And, more than likely - if this escalates - you will be the one who winds up moving.
Edited to add: I am speaking from my 10 years experience as a 911 Dispatcher.
If you can stay COMPLETELY out of it that is then what I would do. Make recordings, though and keep a diary. Push may come to shove. This is likely a self-correcting thing in that the family IS nearby, likely IS frantic about what can be done about this, and likely IS upset.
Are other neighbors affected? This isn't a condo, with a condo association I am assuming? Sorry, other than a violent couple with guns moving in this is next up for just what you don't want next door, and it's likely to only get worse. Wish I had better news.
It's always nice to be a good neighbor, but you've already assessed the situation and see where it's going. Jump out of the way and avoid the crash. It's coming.
Check with your town police department to see if you need to register your cameras once installed. And you are under no obligation to inform your neighbors of these cameras.
When they yell at you, make a note of the date and time and after a few instances, call the police and report them for harassment. Hope that helps to get them moved out and into appropriate care settings.
As others have said, do not have contact with any of them. Should anyone ask you for help just say "No" and walk away. And note the date and time they contacted you.
In your case, I wouldn't have anything else to do with them. They sound like neighbors from a horror movie.
Here's what you should start doing. Install a couple of cameras on the outside of your place. You're dealing with mentally incompetent elders living alone and their family members who from what you say are totally indifferent to it. So who knows what they might try to pull concerning you or your property? Get the cameras. The family members are not lying and conniving to keep their elderly LO's at home because they don't want to split them up. On the contrary, the most likely reason is because they don't want to see the new townhouse and any other potential inheritance go directly to a nursing home. Next, every time your neighbor so much as looks at you or makes the slightest comment, you call the police. It is beyond my understanding why the police believe what you describe as a person who clearly has dementia over a rational adult like yourself. You should still go and talk to the police and ask them to make a wellness check on them because there's an old woman with dementia trying to care for a demented elderly invalid who is dying and is not coping. Tell the police that either they contact Adult Protective Services (APS) or you will. Tell them that you fear retaliation from the family and do not know what your mentally ill neighbor with dementia is capable of, but that you will call APS anyway.
You kind of have already tried, or feel it best not to try in the case of APS most ideas of ours including calls to APS (you can request being anonymous, but given your history with this family they will likely make the guess). So you are left with sendhelps advice I think.
I still suggest recordings (for all the use they are in court which is not much) and diaries of the disturbances.
Sure do wish you luck and hope you will update us in future.
So sorry Anonymous321, but you are not qualified to determine if your elderly neighbors shouldn't be living alone. Even if you know better. And, hope this does not offend you, but
the truth is it is not your business.
Obey the no trespassing order.
Go no contact.
At this point, the goal should be getting the vulnerable neighbors care, but by someone else, not you.
The goal is not to prove if you are telling the truth. Can you stay out of it?
Move on, enjoy your life.