When both his parents were still living, they told my husband that he was the executor of the family "trust," although we never saw a copy of it. (We live out of town.). Several years ago, when both parents were afflicted with severe dementia, we were told by both his brother and sister that the sister was then (and is now) the executor, even though my husbands never received any written notice of this. The sister has never been self-supporting, and has severe addiction problems with both alcohol and prescription painkillers; she has always lived off her parents, which is why they originally made my husband the executor.

My FIL passed away several years ago, and my MIL has been living at home with a live-in caregiver, with the sister living there when she feels like it. If she is not happy with a caregiver - such as when they refuse to wait on her as well, or when they are all out together and the caregiver won't: let her drive because she is inebriated - she fires them and hires another. (My BIL is fine with all this, just as long as he doesn't have to be bothered by anything.)

Six months ago my MIL fell and broke her hip; she was hospitalized for about ten days, then returned home with no physical therapy or transitional care - but with lots of very strong painkillers. At some point she was reported to Social Services (nobody knows who made the report) supposedly for misuse of the painkillers. My MIL developed infected bedsores, and my BIL removed her and moved her to an acute-care transitional care facility. The caregiver was fired by my SIL for supposedly reporting her to Social Services. My BIL is fully aware of the suspicions of the Dept of SS, as well as his sister's history of addiction and behavior.

Now, several months later, Medicare says it will no longer pay for the facility care and my MIL must return home. The family is planning to hire a caregiver and once again have her be supervised by my husband's sister - exactly the same situation that led to all the problems in the first place! I don't know what became of the Dept of SS investigation.

The hardest part of this is that we cannot get any information about any of this. My husband's brother and sister won't talk to him, and we have tried to ask the authorities, but to no avail. I must mention that there was once quite a bit of money in the "trust," as well as a house with no mortgage. However, we heard rumors that the sister took out a reverse mortgage, and her name is on all the accounts. Truly, my husband is the most sincere and reliable of all of them, and it seems that it is for this reason that they are shutting him out. For his part, he is very non-confrontational and just wants to let things be, which I completely understand, but I really worry about his mother, who is now 94 years old. Surely she deserves better than this at the end of her life.

How can I get any information about any of this, including the SS investigation?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Trusts have "trustees" and Wills have "Executors". Medicare does not cover long-term care. The trust would have, depending on how it was structured. Your husband prefers to be hands-off on this. IF you know the name on the trust, you can look up the tax return on the IRS website. Forget rumors, deal with facts. Reverse mortgages are for owner-occupied homes. If the house is in a trust, that would not be possible. Get the facts, but don't go around your husband to get them. In-laws take a back seat when it comes to estates.
Helpful Answer (0)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter