Neurologist confirmed dementia. When do I cry? - AgingCare.com

Neurologist confirmed dementia. When do I cry?

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I wrote earlier about feeling guilty that I was sure a UTI was the cause of moms confusion not Dementia.
Neurologist visit confirmed Dementia,next is testing to see what kind and what stage.
When can I scream and cry ?

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dementia killed my mom before kidney cancer had the opportunity to . i can imagine the latter being much more physically painful . my aunt is in latter stage dementia and aside from getting a little tremble-y some days , she spends a lot of time teasing around with the nh staff .
bi polar caused my mom more anguish than even eventual death from dementia .
i will grant you ; dementia is rough on the carer ( s ) . the patient is going to make about as much sense as these foreigners on here trying to sell snake oil . the best first start is to learn not to dispute or correct the patient . youll crack before they will ..
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Support group, Area on Aging contacts, durable Power of Attorney "should she become disabled due to dementia" (sounds like it could take affect soon), one-on-one therapy (for you) if you can find it. Also try to get her in to see a neurologist, not just a neuropsychologist. See if you can get your mom counseling as well. It may help a bit. Above all, take care of yourself. Remember the old saying telling people to put on their own oxygen masks on the plane and THEN put oxygen masks on their family members! Make sure your "oxygen mask" is on!
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Actually, I envy you getting your mom to the neurologist & getting a diagnosis. It is awful for those of us who loved ones deny & won't go to a neurologist. It's going to be hard, but this website will help you. You can do this. We believe in you.
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Scream and cry at any point that you can find time, if that helps you! I'm not much of a crier myself, but it seems to be a very helpful release for a lot of people!

Geewiz has given some good advice. I confirm the value of finding a local support group, especially after you get a more specific diagnosis. Many people cry at ours, but there is a lot of laughter, too. And nobody is ever judgmental.

Hang in there! You'll find strength you didn't know you had. But it is important to recognize your limits, too.

Post here often. We'll be your online support group. That is valuable, too.
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This is one diagnosis NO ONE ever wants to hear! But, as you peruse this website and the Alzheimers site you will note there are many with this diagnosis. So take a DEEP breath! Determine your objectives and then keep that in mind as you take this journey with your Mom. My objective was to keep my Mom comfortable and to make it as easy as possible for her. I also wanted to be able to say at the end of the journey that I had done my best. We are coming up on the 2nd anniversary of my Mom's death and I have NEVER regretted any of the steps I took on her behalf. We started with more frequent visits from me, moved to companions for 3-5 hours a day, then on to live in help and after a hospitalization, a move to a memory assisted living. In the 18 months my Mom was in the AL, there were less than a handful of days that my Mom didnt' have a visitor. So, it is time to create your own objectives; assess the financial situation, pray that your Mom has her health care proxy and power of attroney papers and Will executed. My suggestion is to always be a step ahead of the need. I was looking at ALs before I even had a caregiver living with my Mom. It is an education process and I visited 9 ALs before I found the right one! And, I was in the process of looking for a nursing home about 6 weeks before my Mom passed since it didn't look like the AL would be be able to keep her much longer.

There is a lot of help here and on the Alzheimers website (much of the behavior is the same for dementia). See if there is a care givers support group for memory care seniors in your area. You may get many ideas that are specific to your area. There are a number of good books you can read; 'Love, Loss and laughter'; The 36 hour day; etc Good luck, we are all here for you.
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